Jealous?
by Moustache1234
Summary: Jealousy can lead people to make mistakes! Will it end in the death of a loved one or will they fight through it all united ! Romonogers **ON HOLD**
1. Missing him

This is my first story so please Don't judge. I watched Civil War and I hated Sharon and Steve together. Like OMG what we're the writers thinking? Anyway hope you enjoy the story! A special thanks to VanillaAshes who helped correct my story and make it better!

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 **Author's Note:**

 **This is my first story so please don't judge.**

 **I watched Civil War and I hated Sharon and Steve together. Like OMG what were the writers thinking?**

 **Special thanks to VanillaAshes who has helped correct my story and make it way better! Also check out VanillaAshes stories which are absolutely awesome !**

 **Anyway hope you enjoy the story!**

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 _Natasha's POV_

Natasha walked into Headquarters expecting Agent Maria Hill to pull her to one side to remind her about the meeting she had with Fury. However, Hill was nowhere to be seen, and even if she had been there, it wouldn't have stopped her from noticing Agent 13 clinging onto her partners arm!

Who's my partner? Steve Rogers. At least, officially he was still her partner, even though he has been going on missions with other agents.

And who is Agent 13? The bitch, Sharon Carter. Of course, she wasn't actually a bitch, most people admired her, but when her hands were draped all over her partner in that manner, then she could think whatever she wanted.

Hill knew my feelings towards Steve, which must have been why she had been wiggling her eyebrows earlier. However, it wasn't Natasha's decision to make. The cold-hearted assassin and Mr perfect, America's golden boy, were never going to get together - and anybody who thought that was deluding themselves.

Natasha took a breath, turning and walking from the room. Steve deserved to be happy, and if Sharon made him happy, then who was she to judge?

* * *

 _Steve's POV_

Steve glanced over at Sharon, they had had a lovely date earlier and it had gone really well - however, he couldn't help but feel that something was missing. He knew he should be happy, but he just wasn't. Deciding he would talk to Sam later about it, he allowed his mind to wander. It wasn't long before he remember that he had seen Natasha earlier in the day for the first time in weeks, since he was on a long mission with Sharon.

He couldn't help but feeling shit, he really missed working with Natasha on a regular basis. She was a unique woman, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about the way her hair falls straight just above her shoulders and never seems to be in the way or a mess. Natasha always managed to push his buttons, but he could tell by her gleaming emerald eyes that she was just messing with him.

Gosh, I miss her eyes!

Fuck, Steve, focus! You have a girlfriend now. He tried to shake the thoughts about Natasha seeming more beautiful, and the thoughts of breaking up with Sharon - he needed to stop thinking them.

"Steve. Steve. STEVE!" Fury's voice boomed through his thoughts, making him look up. "Are you listening?"

Before Steve is able to respond, a certain redhead walked in…

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 _Natasha's POV_

Great. Steve's here with Sharon. Time to put on my Black widow face.

"Miss Romanoff, just in time. I was just explaining to Rogers and Agent 13 your latest assignment." Fury greeted, addressing her directly.

"Of course." Natasha replied civil, walking over to join Steve and Agent 13. She couldnt' help but hate Fury right now. Why did she have to go on a mission with Sharon _and_ Steve? It was just a disaster waiting to happen!

"I hope I won't be a bother but Steve thought it would be a good idea for me to come along." Sharon spoke with her sweet voice. However, behind her eyes was a hint of fear as her eyes fell on Natasha - and even though she'd never admit it, Natasha liked that the younger agent knew her place.

"It shouldn't be but I hope you are aware this is a mission not a stroll in New York with your boyfriend, Agent 13." Natasha responded coldly.

She watched Sharon squirm, Fury cringe and Steve sit there calmly trying not to start laughing and cringe at the same time. God she missed him.


	2. The Bitch

Hey sorry I haven't posted sooner! So I would like to thank VanillaAshes for looking over my chapters for me I really appreciate the help and support and a quick thanks to anyone who reviewed or followed my story so far! Anyway hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Natasha noticed the small changes in everybody's body language as the briefing began drawing to an end. Her primary focus remained on Fury.

"If any of you were listening, I would like to get started with the mission briefing." Fury stated, eyeing up every occupant in the room. "Carter, Rogers - you are to act as a newly wedded couple. Romanoff - seduce the head of operations." He paused, they all knew he didn't need to go into any more detail as to what Natasha was required to do. He returned his attention back to the younger and less-experienced agent. "Sharon, I am counting on you to infiltrate the system for the files we need. Do not let me down."

"Yes, Sir." Sharon replied, it coming out just above a mumble. Natasha couldn't stop the small smirk at young woman's weakness.

"Sharon, here is all your information. Rogers, Romanoff - you need to collect yours from Hill." Fury paused once more. "You are dismissed."

Natasha stood from her seat, stretching her legs for a few moments, she was not looking forward to the conversation with Steve which was evident come.

They all watched Sharon storm out the room muttering about Fury under her breath, not that Fury really cared. Yet Natasha swore she saw a smirk on his face for a split second.

Natasha turned and walked from the room, planning on going straight to Hill's office, collect the rest of her information. Hopefully, she could avoid Steve altogether.

Unfortunately, it seemed the heavens weren't on her side as she saw Steve walk out of Hill's office and she quickly turned, planning on taking the long way around to her office."Great Steve here," Natasha mumbled.

Obviously, Steve had different plans. "Hey, Nat! Wait up!" He called, followed by almost silent footsteps as he jogged to catch up with her. Him calling her 'Nat' almost made her want to jump him. But, she knew she couldn't, he already has a 'girl'.

Natasha turned to face him, putting on a small smile for his benefit. "Hey." She greeted shortly.

"I haven't seen you around for while," he commented as he came to a stop opposite her, his shirt almost _too_ tight for his muscles.

"I've been on a mission," she replied cooly.

"I heard. It's good to have you back, by the way." Steve replied, smiling down at her. "Here is your file, Hill just gave it to me."

See he doesn't like you, he just came to give you a folder. You have no place in this world. But why do I miss him so much? Why do I hate seeing him with other girls? And why is he so damn _hot_ right now? I don't know long I have been staring into his perfect baby blue eyes but it feels like years. My hand slipped up to the side of his face as we both gravitated towards one another, his breath tickled her lips, and she could almost feel his lips when…

"Steve!" Shit, could that bitch have worse timing? We jumped away from each other immediately. If only we had a few more seconds... "There you are. I've been looking for you, let's go grab some lunch." Sharon completely ignored my presence as she shoved past me and tugged his arm, pulling him away from my reach. He looked over his shoulder smiling apologetically. If only... Natasha shook her thoughts away - Steve deserved happiness and that was something Natasha couldn't give him.

Natasha decided that she wasn't as hungry as she had been and headed straight back to her apartment. It was only a fifteen minute drive, which didn't dissolve her anger. She parked her new black Bugatti Charon outside and slammed the door shut before trudging towards the elevator. After arriving into her room, she practically threw on her gym clothes and headed to the gym. Deciding that one of the dummy's resembled Sharon, she decided to use that specific one.

When she had calmed down, and the dummy was no longer usable, she crashed onto the couch and turned the TV on. After a few minutes of blindly watching _The Hunger Games_ , she grabbed a beer an passed out on the couch.


	3. The Accident

**Authors Note: Hey, before we get started I would like to say thank you to BeccaNoodle and Katherine Marceline Queen for reveiwing. I love reading your reveiws so keep them coming please. Anyway let's start hope you enjoy!**

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Natasha woke up to the sound of receiving twenty-five messages in the morning - usually from Hill - however, today was different. Her phone continued to go off - Hill would have stopped by now. She tugged off the thick blanket with a grunt, to search for her phone which she had thrown when it went off for the first time. Finally, she found it and read the words she least expected: Mission Cancelled. Report to HQ immediately!

Natasha was instantly concerned, missions were rarely called off, especially when they Avengers were involved. She donned some black skinny jeans, a black tank top with a white shirt over and finally a black leather jacket.

Grabbing her keys, she jumped into her car and sped off towards HQ.

Natasha couldn't help but wonder why the mission had been cancelled - was somebody from the team injured? Was Steve injured?

* * *

HQ

Natasha entered the building with her 'Black Widow' expression, making agents step out of her way quickly. She strutted down the hallway with a swing of her hips as she made her way to Hill's office. Without hesitating, she barged into the room, her eyes almost widening at Hill's desk being piled with paperwork - that wasn't like her at all.

Maria's stressed face was skimming a document. She had rings under her eyes and with the dim light above she looked much older. The room was spacious and opposite the desk was a hand made leather chair, which was exactly what Natasha fell into. Kicking her feet up she rested it on the glass desk with a small smirk - it was amusing to watch her friend this way, as it was rare. Hill finally looked up at her, brushing her bangs out the way.

"So, you haven't heard the news, have you?" Maria murmured.

"What news?" She enquired curiously, now remembering her previous fear about one of the team being injured.

"Sharon was hit by a car yesterday. She's still unconscious, has a three broken ribs and internal bleeding." Maria informed her, before pausing, obviously to give Natasha sometime to process the news or talk - she was too shocked to say anything right now. "Steve is in the med bay. I suggest you go and support him. "

"Of course." Natasha agreed, standing up and heading straight for the door - had she known about this earlier, she would have already been there to support her partner. Her hand barely grasped the handle when Maria's voice halted her.

"And Natasha, think before you hurt anyone, please." She said tiredly.

"Wasn't dreaming of it." The agent replied unconvincingly and walked from the room.

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Natasha stared through the glass into the room where Steve sat; he had one hand rested on Sharon's hand and the other pressed against his forehead. He was hunched over the bed, it appeared that he had not succumb to his tears.

Natasha strode in the spacious room. "You look like crap," she teased, lightly, but was shocked to find he did not look upwards. She so badly wanted to stroll to him tilt his chin up and kiss him making him forget everything, yet she held back reminding herself, yet again, that love was for children.

After a while he responded. "Why is it that everybody close to me dies? Why am I always am too late?" He questioned, his voice almost breaking her heart. He just sounded so lost.

Natasha approached him slowly, and after hovering for a few moments before wrapping her arms around him. "In the red room, they would say that we had no place on earth." she started, hoping that this would give him some comfort, but couldn't hold back the sigh as she remembered what had happened in the past. "I used to believe it until I met you. You inspired me, Steve, by not caring what others say and by doing what is _right_. I hoped to clean my ledger, but I have realized now that my past makes me who I am today. Don't let it control you as it once did to me, fight it against all odds and you won't regret it."

Steve looked up, surprised by her words and offered her a small genuine and grateful smile. Natasha smiled back, wishing she could be the one to put a smile on his face everyday. "Thank you, Nat," he replied.

Just then he saw Sharon's eyes flicker open and turned his attention toward his girlfriend. Great timing, once again. Natasha let out another small sigh, giving Steve's shoulder a squeeze before releasing him. "I'll leave you two alone." She said softly before walking out of the room. The urge to go home was strong, but just in case Steve needed her, she remained at HQ for a few hours - hoping that he did need her.


	4. Demons in the Night

Hey, sorry I posted late but hopefully the chapter will make up for it! Enjoy!

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 **The Avengers Tower**

Natasha tossed and turned in the night, wrestling with the demons of her past. She woke up gasping for air, tired of seeing horror every time she closed her eyes. Stumbling out of bed, she headed for the kitchen for a drink to hydrate and cool herself down.

Like all of the other Avengers - with the exception of Tony - everyone had a 'floormate', and she had the pleasure of sharing her floor with Steve. It was hard to stay away from him but she learnt how to control her feelings - mostly - especially when Sharon was around.

Sharon had been acting up whenever Natasha had been near him, simply to get Steve's attention. Unfortunately, it worked, for the golden boy fell for it every time, like a child trapped in the devil's snare. _Jealous?_ Of course not. But, it disgusted Natasha that someone so _horrid_ should get Steve, yet she couldn't say she was any better.

As she stepped past the door she heard smashing, yelling and crying coming from Steve's room. Natasha approached his room silently, and slowly pushed the door open.

Steve laid on his bed with bags under his eyes and tears streaming down his face, his hair was ruffled and broken shards of glass laid scattered on the floor. The table was upturned and the was a hole in the wall in the shape of his fist. Avoiding the glass, she tiptoed to Steve's side. He grabbed her by the arm tightly, but not enough for her to be hurt. His clouded eyes searched hers in desperation for hope and comfort.

"Steve what's wrong?" She whispered. "Please, tell me. I hate to see you like this."

"I-I-it's Peggy," he stuttered out, shaking his head, the thought of whatever happened with Peggy obviously upsetting him. "She die-died." His face looked so innocent and distraught that she wished she could take the pain away.

"Steve, I'm so sorry," Natasha said, her tone still hushed as he released her. She sat down beside him, giving his shoulder a squeeze to let him know that she was here for him. "I'm here for you. Let it all out."

"Thank you, Nat," he mumbled as he slowly collapsed into her lap.

They laid there for over half an hour, with his head rested on her lap and her fingers slowly stroking his hair. He looks so sweet and innocent that she thought to herself, if only he were mine, then there would be more ways to comfort him without having to worry about going too far - technically, Sharon should be the one here, but it was her aunt, so she was probably mourning herself.

"Steve, you should get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, I promise," Natasha whispered into his ear.

"Okay," he agreed, his voice calmer than it had been when she first came in, "but please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone right now and you're the only one who stands by me."

After a few moments of mentally debating the pros and cons, she finally agreed and slid into the bed. As they laid there, Steve pulled her to his chest as if protecting her before promptly falling asleep.

* * *

Natasha woke up to a strong a man grabbing her around the waist, she slowly opened her eyes to find a lazy blue pair of eyes staring back at her. She let out a content sigh, which was short lived as she realised that Steve still had a girlfriend. And the worst thing about him having a girlfriend was that it was _her_ fault - she had encouraged him to ask her out. She instantly knew that she couldn't contain her feelings so early in the morning and knew she had to leave quickly, otherwise, she'd say something she'd later regret.

"Steve, I have to go," she mumbled with sadness, causing him to move his arm. She found that she instantly missed his touch.

* * *

Steve watched her slid out of the bed and away from him, his arm was still warm from where he had been holding her - she just fitted so much better with him that Sharon did. "Okay, Nat. I'll see you at breakfast." He replied, yearning to add _I love you_ but knowing he couldn't. With everything going on now, especially with Peggy's death, he couldn't leave Sharon. In all honesty, Sharon was a great person, but his mind was doing flips right now.

After Natasha had left, he quickly cleaned up the mess he made yesterday and jumped into the shower before heading to breakfast. As he stumbled up the steps - still slightly tired from the night before - he noticed Natasha behind him, she must have gone back to her room first and changed.

"Good morning, Steve." Natasha greeted as if she hadn't already seen him that morning.

Steve slowed down and turned to face her, however, before he had a chance to respond, his phone began ringing. He glanced at the screen and sighed slightly when he saw that it was Sharon. He knew it was going to be further news over the loss of Peggy and wasn't sure if he could handle it right now. But regardless, he answered it and walked out of the room for some privacy.


	5. Phonecalls

**Hey! Sorry it took so long to upload but my old beta VanillaAshes had to stop but I have great news...**

 **FangirlWritesThings is my new beta. Definitely go check out FangirlWritesThings profile and stories! Before we get started a quick thanks to BeccaNoodle who reviewed my last chapter. Please remember to review I love to hear your ideas and what you think.**

 **So the moment you have all been waiting for let's begin the chapter... Enjoy!**

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 **Avengers Tower**

Natasha hurried to the kitchen so Steve would be left alone on the phone. All the other Avengers plus Maria huddled around the table and at the head was a grumpy Stark. Ever since Tony and Pepper's break, Tony had been the most miserable being to be around. Most morning he was left to sulk on his own, however today he sat with everyone else. As she walked in everyone looked up anxiously assuming it was Steve, yet to their disappointment, it was only Natasha.

"Hey Nat, have you seen Steve?"

"Is Steve ok?"

"Lady Natasha! How is he doing?"

Natasha stared amused as they bombarded her with questions.

"Yes, I saw Steve on the stairs. He is on the phone, though with Sharon right now," _Jealous?_ No, she was not, yet she didn't dare tell them about last night, the memory still locked in her mind as clear as daylight.

A few minutes later, Steve walked in with downcast eyes as he headed towards the kitchen to get some breakfast and then sat down.

"I must leave for England for a few days for the funeral, but please alert me if anything major comes up like a bunch of aliens." He smiled sadly and then got up. Steve wandered back out the room as everyone stared after him.

"We should let him do what he must, he must have pulled a few strings to get Peggy buried in England." Tony spoke at last, breaking the silence.

"He did what she would have wanted," replied Clint.

Everyone agreed except Natasha, who still stared at the door. Nobody noticed, except Hill who watched her closely, knowing that the spy had feelings for Steve. She felt sorry for Natasha, who was a Red Room experiment, ex assassin/KGB agent turned good, and when things look up the love of her life is already taken.

Maria turned to find Tony and Sam were busy chatting about upgrades for everyone as she saw Natasha creep out the room.

* * *

 **Steve's Room**

knock...knock... "Steve are you in there? It's Natasha. May I come in?"

"Come in," grunted Steve. Steve sat on his bed, head in his hands. It broke her heart to see him like this. Natasha walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his muscular body. His body radiated heat and made her start to get hot and flustered. Stop this Natasha, she thought, you're not here for that you're here to... comfort him?

"It's ok," she repeated quietly as she contemplated why she was really here."If it's ok with you I will come with you to England." What am I doing, she thought, this is wrong. It will only make my feelings for him deepen, but Steve needs me right now.

"Nat, I would like that very much but I don't want your pity," Steve replied.

"Trust me I didn't come here out of pity, I came here because my partner needed help and that's what partners do, they watch each other's back."

"Thank you, Nat." And she knew he wasn't just thanking her for coming with him to England, he was thanking her for everything else.

"No, I should thank you Steve for showing me how to be human again, how to feel and most importantly, how to do what's right," she proclaimed as Steve blushed lightly but she noticed.

"Come on old man, we better start packing," and with that she got up and started helping him ready for the trip, because she owed him her life.


	6. Getting Away

**Hey , so this is chapter 6 and I want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me so far! A quick thanks to VanillaAshes for reveiwing my last chapter! Remember to review since I love all your ideas and comments. So let's get started...**

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 **Avengers Tower**

It's been a few weeks since the funeral and Natasha sat in the Avengers kitchen, drinking a smoothie in the tower. The funeral had been hard on Steve but she thought they had got closer yet Sharon cut in halfway through and decided to take Steve wandering about who knows where. She had been alone for that day and Steve had not even noticed. Natasha sighed to herself. Life could really be shit.

The last few weeks she had barely seen Steve, let alone had a conversation with him, so of course she'd been pissed when Stark had asked where Capsicle is. The few times she had seen him, she was smiling at him when they walked past each other near Fury's office, and when Sharon's clinging around him in the SHIELD canteen.

Everyone had noticed, except Steve (who really was very oblivious when it comes to women) that Sharon had been strutting around the tower like she is an Avenger. It really pissed her off!

Sharon had been spreading rumours that she is going to be an Avenger!

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 **Natasha's POV**

Who does that slut think she is? Just because she bangs the Captain does not make her special or classify as an Avenger!

I heard clattering of heels which is either Maria, Pepper, back from her business trip early, or Sharon, which I really hope it isn't.

It was Maria. She has probably come to give me more paperwork.

"Hello, Hill." I greeted without looking up.

"Natasha," she replied, "Jealous? I presume you're brooding over that bitch again, I already reminded you, she's not worth it!"

I sigh. "What did you do? "

"You make it sound as if I committed a crime when I did you a favour, I got you a few days off to visit Barton and his family and I suggest you use it and get your ass outta here!"

"Maria No! I'm fine, seriously!" I lied.

Before she could respond, Sharon showed up to make herself a coffee.

"Romonoff, Hill," she sneered, it made me wanna be sick in disgust yet laugh knowing full well she is scared shitless by us.

"I gotta go Nat, but please consider it," Hill mumbled to me and then walked off but, not without telling Sharon to get her ass and into the office, since she is still a trainee. I love Maria; she knows how to cheer me up.

Who was I kidding, I had to get out of here. I was killing myself by just being in the same room as the bitch!

I got up, smirking at Sharon's stunned face, and went to go pack my bags before Steve arrived. I was hoping to miss him by going early. Why was life crap?!

* * *

 **Clint's Farm**

I knocked on the door with excitement flowing through me. I hadn't seen Clint since he retired or Lila and Cooper!

"Hey Nat, we missed you," Clint greeted me, and behind him stood Lila and Cooper.

"Hey," I gushed, "Where's Laura?"

"In the kitchen," replied Cooper after ruffling his hair. I headed inside and immediately started a conversation with Laura about the day, clearly avoiding the word or anything to do with Steve.

It was getting late and the kids had already gone upstairs to bed when Clint finally asked why I was here.

"It's Steve, you know I like him but Sharon's been hanging around everywhere driving us all nuts especially me, she acts like she owns the place. That bitch should have stayed with the CIA," I muttered angrily.

"Language," Clint started, but I turned him down with my _I don't give a shit_ glare. I carried on ranting and they listen closely, nodding their heads every now and again.

"Nat, I think I know what you need to do!" Laura jumped eagerly.

"Ssshhhh you will wake up the kids," Clint whispered.

"Sorry," she mumbled back, "we should do what I did to Clint!" Laura smiled brightly like the sun itself!

"Nooo..."


	7. The one who came back

**Hey, so I would like to let you know I have decided to update every Thursday but it might be earlier or later on some days. I would d like to say a big thanks to Claire O'Mack and JamesRogers1122 for reveiwing my last chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

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 **C** **lint's Farm**

"Nat, I think I know what you need to do!" Laura jumped eagerly.

"Ssshhhh! you will wake up the kids," Clint whispered.

"Sorry," she mumbled back, "we should do what I did to Clint!" Laura smiled brightly like the sun itself.

"Nooo..."

"But didn't you, like, nearly move to the country because of that?" Natasha exclaimed, worried about what this plan could do if it went wrong.

"It's a bad idea Laura," Clint tried to reason with his wife, but his efforts were useless when she had her mind set towards a goal.

"Clint... might be right, Laura," Natasha added.

"No, this will work," she argued, "I know it will," she murmured to herself.

They sat there in silence for a minute, contemplating their decision carefully.

"You.. know... Making Steve jealous might actually work if we find the right person to use, and depending on Nat's acting skills this could work!" Cling exclaimed excitedly, whilst Natasha had her eyebrows raised and stared at them like they were crazy. 'They probably were' she thought to herself, still not completely convinced but almost desperate for Steve's attention. She knew she had to try, at least.

"Okay, I'm in. We can use T'Challa, he will agree to it. I'm sure," Natasha concluded, and with that, they departed to their separate rooms, satisfied with their work.

Natasha fell into a deep sleep dreaming of the life she imagined to have, hoping that Steve would not see a monster in her, but some light, even just a little. HOPE. It's what she held on to every time she closed her eyes, a hope that the pain would end, that the darkness would subside. The darkness, the terror, the blood filled life she left behind may always haunt her, in some way it was a piece of her but maybe, just maybe she could have something better. She didn't believe in love, once upon a time there was only darkness but maybe she could love, feel, know how to feel human again. It would take time, of course; all things do, but it would be worth it because for once in her life, she was not alone, she was not in pain and she had hope for a better future. Hope was what kept her waking up every day; it what she went to bed with every night too. HOPE. She may not deserve it, but she certainly has it and no person can take that from her!

The next morning, Natasha decides it's time to go back to the tower.

"I will keep you updated, Clint," was the last thing she said as she sped away, looking forward to trying out her plan.

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

"We come back, Agent Romanoff," Jarvis greeted as she walked into the building.

"Hey J, anyone in the building today?"

"Thor is with Jane and Darcy, Wanda is showing Vision around SHIELD, Steve is on a mission with Sam, Rhodey is visiting relatives and Tony is in his lab, but coming to meet you. He says he has a surprise but I can't tell you." Jarvis informed.

"You know I can hack into your system, right?"

"I am fully aware of your capabilities, but I don't think Tony will be happy about it,"

"Of course, speak of the devil, here he comes," she replied, staring as Stark wandering in nervously immediately suggested he was hiding something.

"Hey Romanoff," he greeted, hands tied behind his back like a 5 year old who was hiding something.

"Cut to the chase Stark, what do you want?" She muttered, disinterested in any of his games.

Pretending to be hurt by her words, he replied, "I'm offended that you would even think I would hide something from you," She rolled her eyes, "but if you must know, here's your surprise..."

Tony moved out the way to reveal a timid looking Bruce behind him, who was fidgeting with his fingers.

"Hey Nat," she glared at him, her face turning immediately angry as Stark quickly exited the room in fear of how bad his idea was.

"How dare you come here!" She yelled.

"Natasha I know you're-"

"Don't give me your bullshit, Banner,I don't want it."

"Look, I know-" She cut him off again, not bothering to listen to his measly attempts to make peace or whatever it was.

"You think you can just come back here after you walked out on me? It doesn't fucking work like that! I thought we had something, I let you in and was even ready to give my life up here to go with you, but then you ran like you always do! You fucking hurt me and do you send a letter or anything? NO! Do not, for one second, think you can just waltz through here and everything's gonna be fine because it isn't! Please just leave! You hurt us, you hurt me but I guess you don't care. And don't you give me your shitty excuses about you doing this to protect me, because if you cared for me or what I felt, you would have stayed, but you fucking left! You should have stayed wherever you were because you certainly are not welcome here!"

And with that she slammed the door and left, leaving a shocked Banner behind.


	8. He comes, He leaves

**Hey, before we get started I want to gives big thanks to Claire O'Mack and ae11021 who also happens to have written my 10th review so congrats and a big thanks to everyone who has supported me so far! So all that's left now is to read on!**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Steve stood their on the kitchen floor, watching Natasha scream at Bruce. They did not seem to notice him come in, yet that hardly surprised him, with all the noise you couldn't really hear much, other than Natasha's voice echoing around the room. She was obviously pissed off at Banner and he found he did not blame her and was not just because he had feelings for her. Steve knew he liked Natasha; he just wasn't sure how much and even if he wanted to give 'them' a go, it wouldn't work because of Sharon. God damn Sharon, he thought to himself. Sometimes she really got in the way, but being Captain America, he would never blame her for anything; he was too good a person and yet on the odd occasion, being like that annoyed him a lot.

Bruce stood their in shock like he had just witnessed World War 3, his jaw hung open whilst his fists were clenched tightly together, he looked like he had been glued to the floor. Steve saw this and took this as a chance to 'talk' to Bruce.

"You shouldn't have came back," he stated, making Banner jump a bit.

"I was wrong to ever leave, I know that," Bruce replied calmly, not looking up into the Captain's face.

His eyebrow raised he raised his voice, "Well, then you should have known not to come back. You left Natasha Bruce, YOU left her. She gave you everything, and you left her with nothing, you son of a bitch, you hurt her, you should leave. She's right about that, because you lost your place as an Avenger when you ran like a coward."

"Language, Cap," he smirked suddenly, gaining confidence which was shortly lived when he stumbled a few feet back, realising he had got on Steve's wrong side and was staring into the eyes of a man ready to throw him out the window.

"Don't you give me bullshit, you made a mistake when you left and with every mistake comes a consequence and yours is to leave. Leave this life behind you, you have done enough damage here already! Now I am going to go see Natasha and when I come back, you better not be anywhere near here but very far away. Goodbye Bruce!" Steve turned around and left Banner alone to think about everything.

* * *

 **Steve and Natasha's floor**

Steve finally arrived at Natasha's door, his hand clenched around the handle as he listened to her cry softly. His heart immediately felt like it had broken in half, she didn't deserve this and he knew it. After waiting a few seconds, he opened the door to find her curled tightly in a ball, her arms hugging her knees, whilst her face lay in between her knees so he couldn't see the tears streaming down her face.

"Natasha," he whispered lightly as she looked up and jumped in surprise, making him smile.

"You shouldn't be here," she replied as he stared into her glassy eyes, tears ready to run down her cheeks at any moment.

"Hello to you too, Nat." He replied causing her to smile a sad smile, but that smile gave him hope.

"I'm sorry, it's just Jarvis said you were away on a mission," she murmured, damn that AI, always wrong. Now Steve's seen me cry and must think I'm weak, she thought to herself.

"I was on a mission looking for Bucky, but I heard you were back in town and since me and Sam had no new leads, I decided to head back here and give Sam a well deserved break. But when I arrived I found you and Bruce..."

"I'm sorry you had to see that, but that asshole deserved everything he got."

"You're right he deserves nothing, and he definitely does not deserve you or your tears," he murmured gently as he sat on the edge of the bed and tilted her chin towards her, brushing her tears away with his thumb. Natasha's heart pounded in her chest, as she stared into his eyes and could not tear her eyes away from his. She leaned in and so did he as their lips met at once, sparks were flying as his lips grazed over hers. Pulling him to her to deepen the kiss. Eventually they pulled apart to breathe.

"We shouldn't have done that," he replied hastily, staring intently at the floor.

"Their are many things I should not have done, but that didn't stop me," she replied.

"Natasha," he groaned, knowing she knew that was not what he meant.

Finally, she realised what she had done and caved in. "You're right, I'm sorry."

They stayed there for a few minutes in silence as her head lay on his toned chest, feeling the outline of his abs through his shirt as his chin rested on her forehead.

"I should go," he murmured, breaking the silence.

"Please stay, as a friend of course. To help me sleep."

Seeing her vulnerability, he agreed to stay the night... but strictly as friends.

* * *

The next morning, Steve woke up with Natasha's arm curled around him and her head on his chest, her hair flowing everywhere. To him, she was secretly an angel whom he didn't deserve and could not have, a forbidden fruit. Steve looked up to see the clock going on 9am and he has promised to meet Sharon in... twenty minutes! Quickly, he got out of the bed and stood, waking Natasha up.

"Where are you going?" She murmured sleepily, a bit upset at being woken up; she wasn't a morning person at all and everyone knew it.

"I promised I would meet Sharon in 20 minutes. I'm sorry, I gotta go," he replied, whilst leaning forward to kiss her forehead and then strode out the room to Natasha's disappointment.

'Why does Sharon get everything!' Natasha asked herself, angry at being woken up just so her love could go meet up with his bitch of a girlfriend. Damn, her life sucked.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to review!**


	9. What we do for love!

**Hey everyone, I hope your all enjoying the story so far! Hopefully this chapter will spice things up. You must know that I will be on holiday next week and I can't take my laptop and all, so I won't be posting next week, but I will post as usual on the following Thursday! Also a big thanks to JamesRogers1122 for reveiwing my last chapter and please you review I love to hear your comments!**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

 _knock knock..._ Natasha stood anxiously outside T'Challa's bedroom; she had no idea how to ask him to be her 'boyfriend' just to make Steve jealous. Soon enough, the door opened to find him in a tux.

"So where are you going, all dressed up?" She smirked, leaning against the bed post.

"Out, but I can stay a minute. I have been hoping to talk to you since you got back, but being a king is a busy job."

"So what did you wanna talk about?" She questioned him, unsure of what he was gonna say.

"Steve," he returned without hesitation.

Natasha stood shocked, not expecting that answer at all, she was expecting 'how was your trip?' or 'been on any missions lately?'. Yet she did not expect him to say Steve. She fucking well knew she could go on for hours just about Steve, so what in particular did he wanna know?

"What about Steve," she faked a smile as she said his name.

"Well, I just kinda noticed you two were very close until he got a girlfriend, why don't you do something if your jealous. And please don't give me any bullshit Natasha, because I fucking know that you love him!" He exclaimed like he had rehearsed the lines for a movie. She was surprised by his short speech, she wondered if it had really been that obvious. She knew she liked Steve a lot, but she didn't realise till now it was love that she was missing.

"You're right. That's why I came here. I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend!"

"You're fucking crazy, you know! But... I will do it."

They agree to announce it later, but before Natasha can leave, Tony bursts in.

"Hey guys, I just heard your entire conversation!" Tony smirked-whistled, moving about because for some reason he can't stay still.

"God, I am gonna kill you Tony," she screamed whist turning around to get him but before she could, T'Challa blocked her.

"What do you want, Tony?" T'Challa muttered as he held Natasha back from killing Tony.

"To help by spreading the news to Cap."

"Haven't you done enough damage Tony? You made Ultron, brought Bruce here and don't think we didn't forget you tore the Avengers apart with the whole accords fiasco!" Natasha argued, angry that he thought he had a right to get involved.

"Ok, I admit I have made shitty mistakes in the past, but I truly wanna help! All I will do is tell him about you two dating and, you know, try and make him jealous. The next day, you two will come in to make sure he is completely jealous! This plan can not go wrong," Tony encouraged whilst Natasha still looked suspicious, but caved in because she needed all the help she could get.

"Fine, Tony, we will do that!" She sighed and strode out the room, worried if this would work.

* * *

 **Steve's POV**

I have been sitting at this damn table for at least half an hour and Sharon is nowhere to be found. I have tried calling and texting her, but she just hasn't answered. I wish Nat was here instead, she would always be on time and if she wasn't, she would tell me. Maybe I should leave, we can eat on another day. I am exhausted since I just finished a mission, then Sharon's asked to go eat here and now she hasn't even bothered to show up. Maybe this isn't working, maybe I should break up with her... Peggy has been gone for at least a month, I don't love Sharon at all, I love Natasha! How have I missed it all this time? I LOVE NATASHA! I must hurry, before it's too late!

I quickly pay the waiter and run to the Avengers Tower (literally run) to go tell Natasha I love her and I won't give up on us, whatever she says!

She's probably in the kitchen, so I will go check there first. Damn, she's not here but there's Tony... Maybe he will know.

"Heytonyhaveyouseennat," I mumble quickly to him.

"Woah there Cap, slow down. You don't wanna have a heart attack," Tony teases whilst I just roll my eyes. This is so ironic, I can't believe I just asked this idiot where Nat is!

"Have. You. Seen. Natasha," I say slowly, just to annoy him.

"Natasha? Oh yeah, she's with T'Challa. Haven't you heard, they're a couple now."

What?! I can't believe this, the love of my life is gone. Damn, I'm such an idiot! But I'm definitely breaking up with Sharon. There is no way that me and Sharon will ever actually love each other. She thinks I'm oblivious to the fact that she uses me but I'm not! Forget about Sharon. Though it's not surprising Natasha is dating T'Challa, she is a queen in my eyes and deserves to be with a king. The world is not fair, but I guess I learnt that a long time ago when I crashed into the ice.

With downcast eyes, I said a quick thanks to Tony and left to go to my room. Maybe my destiny is to be alone and to never love or to be. Yes, I'm jealous, but if she is happy, then I will give up my happiness for hers; it's the least she deserves after everything she has been through. Was this how she felt when me and Sharon were around? Broken, alone, desperate? We kissed though, didn't we? That has to mean something at least! To have her love would be more than enough, but now she is another's to love and to hold!


	10. Fears and Sharon!

**Hey, long time no see! Chapter 10! Wow I want to say thank you for everyone's support and to my 31 followers, reviewers and people who have favourited (don't think that a word but whatever) my story! As you all know this is my first story and I hope their will be many to come! Also a quick shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen (hope I spelt it right) who reviewed my last chapter! Reveiws are most welcome!**

 **So let's get started!**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Steve fell into a deep sleep that night, curled up tightly on his bed watching memories flash by, the usual painful memories; him not saving Bucky and crashing into the ice, ruining his chance of ever being with Peggy. Surprisingly though, he dreamed of something so much worse, it could have killed him.

The Avengers had been sent on a mission; it was a HYDRA mission with his worst enemy; Red Skull. Almost instantaneously Steve knew it was a trap but it was too had been surrounded in a few seconds by droids shooting at them and one by one, they fell to the ground, dead.

T'Challa had been zapped to death as a snake crawled through his body, devouring him till only a mask and a pile of bones lay scattered around. Next was Wanda; she was chained to the ground in a room whose sides dug into the earth. She lay limp on the floor blood dripping from her body, as fire came up from the floor, she screamed in pain, piercing his heart but he couldn't move. Following the tragedy was Falcon, his wings were shot down and he fell to the concrete with a crack, every bone was broken, Steves hearts ached as he lay there, helpless, calling for help, but no one came to his aid and in a crowd of darkness what ever strength was left was killed by crows ripping him apart. Then, it was Hawkeye who was shot through the heart with a arrow; ironic, really, but it killed him instantly and all the Captain could do was feel sympathy for the family who had watched him die in front of them, their hearts ripped out in agony as Clint fell off the edge of the building, lifeless.

Soon it was Ant-Man's turn to perish, he had been killed by a sharp rock falling on top of him by a droid and then the body got eaten by ants biting into his flesh. Steve stared in shock, wondering who would be next in line for a tortuous end. He turned around to find Tony and Rhodey crashing to the ground, huge holes in their suits and everything on fire. In a few minutes there was nothing but ashes to show where they had laid. Just behind them, Thor's body lay scattered around. A head in one place and an arm in the next, blood poured out splattering the ground in red. The grass was no longer green for as far as the eye could reach, red, black and brown covered the ground in darkness. Bruce was trapped in some unknown material with no where to escape as machines shot thousands of bombs, bullets and grenades by the second causing him to drop to the floor in agony, wringing his hands in pain.

But for some reason, none of these deaths amounts to Natasha's, blood was pouring from her sides, bones broken and her face disfigured she cried out whilst looking straight into his teary eyes. "Why didn't you save us? Where were you when I needed you?! I loved you till you watched me _die_ alone in excruciating pain! Where were you, Steve?!" He stood there, shaking violently, unable to move as he watched his beloved breathe her last breath. Suddenly the force that held him back stopped and he was free, he ran toward her, tears streaming down his face as he kneeled by her side and held her in his arms, screaming her name aloud for people to hear miles away. He finally understood how Wanda felt when Pietro died, like your heart is ripped out of your chest and torn. This pain that he felt was worse than any torture or death.

Natasha lay limp in his arms, lifeless, alone like him...

Steve awoke gasping for breath, sweat pouring down the sides of his face as he took deep breaths of cold air to remind himself it was just a dream! Steve lay awake for the rest of the night, in fear of seeing her like that if he closed his eyes again.

* * *

Before Steve knew it, it was already morning. Quickly, he slipped out of his Captain America pants, his shield on it, which Tony had given him for Christmas. It was all he needed to take off because he never slept in a shirt since he found them uncomfortable. He washed his face and threw on his running clothes, then he headed to the park to run with Sam.

"Hey, Cap," Sam greeted, leaning against a tree, not really anticipating the run to come.

"Hey Sam, you ready to start?" Steve questioned, eager to let it all out in the run.

"Yep." Sam replied as they started off with a 5 minute jog.

"So how's Maria?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Cap, I haven't seen her since the whole Civil War fiasco begun! l-" _Liar._

"Stop lying Sam, everyone knows you two are a item," he teased, enjoying Sam squirming.

"We may or may not be a item, but what about you and Sharon?"

"We are... complicated, she is just using me and I don't love her. I think I'm gonna call her and break up with her," he muttered, very much still annoyed at Sharon ditching him like that yesterday.

"Woah Cap, just maybe a bit harsh, but to be honest, I never really liked her, so you go for what you think is right." Sam encouraged.

"I think I will Sam, I think I will."

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

 _Ring, ring!_

"Hello?" Sharon answered the phone.

"Hey Sharon, it's Steve. I need to talk to you about something and was wondering if we could meet for lunch at that diner down the road?" Steve mumbled through the phone, still not sure how to break the news to her. Little did he know she was with her friends and thought he was gonna do something big, maybe even propose (if she got lucky)!

"Yeah, that's fine, Steve!" She responded excitedly.

"Ok see you there. Bye." Then he hung up with a sigh, realising he had no other choice. He had to do this, no matter how hard it was.


	11. Lies Can Hurt

**Hey readers, so first off I'm sorry I uploaded this chapter so late but I was very busy and had to redo half the chapter because it didn't save properly! A big thank you to FangirlWritesThings for beta reading this chapter. Also a hug thanks to Katherine Marceline Queen who reviewed the last chapter. I am open to comments and suggestions!**

 **On with the story...**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Steve had just finished his call with Sharon and was on his way to go to the 'conference room', or more likely known as the 'betting room'. Of course, it was usually Clint, Tony, Thor, Sam and Natasha that were betting but he would occasionally bet, though it was a secret between all the Avengers since Pepper didn't approve and would kick them out for a month if she knew. Although Pepper was not that bad, she was actually very sweet and even Natasha found herself liking Pepper which surprised most of them, yet Steve assumed it was because she needed a friend (girl) whom she could talk to, since she never had that. It was one of the many things deprived from her childhood. However, Tony and Pepper had taken a break for a while and so Pepper was rarely seen around, so the tower would be mess. Luckily though, they had maids, butlers etc. It wasn't the same without her, though, and Tony had not bet once since she left to everyone's surprise. He was usually stuck in the lab and if Pepper never came back, Steve knew it would have a very bad effect on the team.

Whilst Steve was busy getting ready, Natasha, T'Challa and Tony where busy scheming in Tony's lab.

"So we all know the plan?" Natasha asked for the 100th time and could see it was getting on Tony's nerves.

"Yes, Widow. Now can we go?" He muttered.

"Yes Natasha, I understand the plan but seriously Stark, I wonder how Pepper puts up with you!" T'Challa exclaimed, only to realize what he did mere seconds after. Natasha just stood and watched as Tony processed his words.

"You're right, it's no wonder she left," he sighed, looking out the window.

"Oh Tony, I'm sorry, I forgot... I did not mean it! Just forget it, please!" T'Challa begged with his downcast eyes staring at the floor.

"You obviously meant it though, because you said it!... Let's just go and help Capsicle and Widow here to get together, please," Tony suggests, trying to change the subject, realising how sorry T'Challa is.

* * *

Steve entered the room to find everyone already seated.

"Hello, everyone," he greeted.

"Hey, Cap." The Avengers replied in unison.

"I have little to report today, just that Wanda and Vision are needed at Fury's office, also Sam, Clint and Rhodey, Maria tells me you three have lots old paperwork at HQ to do, so please head over there and I want **no excuses!** "

"Yes, Capsicle" they mumbled.

"Hey, that's my line," Tony protested and glared at them. They ignored him, since he was probably in a bad mood. He had been in a terrible mood a lot lately, but everyone just ignored him. They already had enough to deal with.

"Anyway, the rest of you have the day off. So last thing, does anyone have something to say?" Steve questioned whilst looking around the table, obviously avoiding Natasha as he did so.

"Um, yes, I do!" T'Challa muttered nervously. Steve knew what was coming next and dreaded it, hoping to avoid what's to come.

"Well, me and Nat are officially a couple!" He announced as applause and wolf whistles followed. Congratulations were said as Steve just stood there, his face emotionless. Clint just shook his head, muttering to himself how bad this was and Sam looked at Steve sympathetically, seeing the hurt in his friend's eyes. But Steve ignored him and looked away. Natasha desperately tried to make eye contact, but he wouldn't look at her and she realized how hurt he actually was. Yet it was too late. Rhodes was chanting for them to kiss and T'Challa finally gave in and pulled Natasha into a kiss. Steve looked away, hurt flashing in his eyes. His vision was cloudy and his head was swarming with thoughts. He strode out the room moments after they broke the kiss.

Never had Steve felt so alone in his life. Not when he woke up from the ice, or when Bucky 'died', not even after Peggy's death. He was heartbroken and overwhelmed with emotion he felt useless. He knew he had to escape. He could not live like this, knowing his love was with another man,especially in the same building. Little did he know, Natasha and Sam stared after him as hex left but he didn't come back, and she wasn't sure if he would ever come back after this.


	12. The Truth is Revealed

**Hey everyone, sorry I uploaded late again I have been busy and tired quite a lot lately! I just wanna say a huge thank to everyone who has supported me and a quick shout out to JamesRogers1122!**

 **Now all that's left to do is to read on!**

* * *

 **Outside the Avengers Tower**

Steve leaned against the wall at the entrance to the Tower. From a distance, he looked quite small compared to the huge buildings around him. He stared at the ground whilst his head swarmed with thoughts, however they were not nice thoughts. He had rarely been alone lately, because of the Avengers training, Hill's piles of useless paperwork, Fury's missions and Sharon dragging him about. He had little time to think for himself when everyone else took over his thoughts, but he would never show his irritation, he was just too good of a person, but he would never admit it. When he was alone, he would often dream of Natasha and how she stole his heart. Little does she know she also broke it when she kissed another man. Steve was disgusted with himself for thinking for a second she was his, since he clearly knew she was with T'Challa and if Nat ever found out what he was thinking, she would kick his arse. Yet the thought of her kicking his arse turned him on just a slight bit.

Steve eyes drifted over to his watch. ' _Shit_ ,' he thought, realising he was late for lunch with Sharon and that was not a good way to start today - especially considering he's gonna break up with her. Quickly, Steve jumped onto his motorbike and headed to the diner by Central Park. It was a small, quaint diner, but he went there often because it reminded him of when he was with Peggy and Bucky and he usually found it a good place to gets some peace to himself.

Sharon stood outside, texting a friend he assumed, but he could not care less; he was more nervous of how it would go. Hearing his footsteps, she glanced up and smiled, but he could see straight through her smile - she was faking it, really. She was nothing like Natasha, who could fake a smile and had men dropping on their knees for her within seconds... Perhaps he should resolve in thinking less about Natasha for now.

"Steve," she greeted merrily.

"Hello, Sharon," He replied, unsure of how he should act, since he didn't want to give the wrong message.

"Steve? I'm not hungry.. maybe we could just go for a walk!"

Steve, immediately seeing how it would make it easier not to cause a scene - since he was unsure of how she would react, but most likely not in a good way - agreed. Once he found an isolated spot, he started talking.

"So, Sharon... I have been thinking a lot lately about everything - including us, of course..."

"Of course, Steve," she cut him off, getting a bit too excited for Steve's liking.

"Well.. you see, Peggy's been gone for a while now and I have- uh, been busy lately..."

"Yeah, I noticed. But that comes with the job, I suppose," she cut him off again, starting to annoying him.

"I think I will just go straight to the point and say... uh Sharon, I like you but this - or whatever this is - is not working and I think we should break up. I'm sorry, really sorry!" He blurted out as he watched her smile turn to a deep frown. Steve started to grow increasingly agitated as the silence continued, and he was about to reply when she spoke.

" _What_?!" Sharon just stood in shock, her body seemingly frozen as she looked incredibly tense.

"I said-" he started.

"I _know_ what you fucking said, asshole! How _dare_ you break up with me, especially since my aunt just died!" Steve was shocked not only with her language, but her reaction.

"How dare I break up with you?! I have every right to end this, and I am being the adult here and saying as kindly as I can that this just won't work out! Peggy died four months ago, Sharon! You can't just keep using her as an excuse to keep me as your boyfriend and treat me like shit!" Steve's anger was growing and he was finding it hard to hold back and to not shout.

"I have treated you with nothing but kindness ever since she died, and I never really gave a shit about my aunt! She was just a good excuse to get close to you so I can fuck you!" She screamed in his face.

"Oh, that is it! Next time you try and find a fuck buddy for your wishes, make sure you're looking in the right place because there ain't no frickin fuck-buddy here, Sharon!"

"I think I will! Oh, and by the way, that red headed slut of yours is a monster! She will taint you Steve! She doesn't give a shit about your feelings! Sluts like her should be in prison. You better run home to your bitch in a hurry, though, don't want to keep her waiting, bastard!" She raged and then turned around with a swish of her hair and left, leaving a stunned Steve behind. That's not how he expected it to go. Little did he know, Sam was hidden in the bushes and had recorded their argument for his own plan of revenge on Sharon... to help Steve, of course!

* * *

 **Natasha's Floor**

Natasha lay on her bed as she was stared at the ceiling, deep in thought. Steve had not returned yet and she was beginning to get worried; not because she thought he couldn't look after himself, it was because she was not sure what he would do to himself.

The meeting earlier did not go to plan, but now that she looked back, she wasn't really sure what she expected. Just... not that way and especially not with the kiss. Natasha did not care to much about her love life at the moment though, right now she just wanted Steve in every way possible, and yet it was impossible. Not only did he have a girlfriend, but he was also hurt by her. Natasha felt so bad and had no clue how to fix this fucked up situation.

 _I wish I never had feelings for him and had not tried to make him jealous_ , she scolded herself again and again, yet she knew no amount of scolding was gonna take it all back. She was gonna have to fight for Steve if she wanted him... And _boy_ , she wanted him badly!

* * *

 **Please feel free to comment I love to hear what you all think and I always reply as soon as I can! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	13. Heartbreak

**Hey, So first off a HUGE sorry I posted late I know I have been posting late recently and has decided Thursday/Friday will be my posting day! I posted much later this time because my Beta FanGirlWritesThings WiFi was not working!**

 **So the chapter you have been waiting for** **...**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

It had been a week since the kiss, a long week, Natasha might add. Steve had come back late, but she didn't go say anything to him; she assumed it was best to leave him alone, especially since he slammed the door - something Steve would never do. She had seen him often throughout the week, but they rarely said a word to each other. Yet she did notice a few changes. One, Sharon was not around- actually, now that she thinks about it, she had not seen Sharon _once_ this week, which was rather strange since she was strutting through the hallways a week ago like she owned the damn place! Two, Steve would snap at everyone, he snapped at Thor for burning toast, Clint for being late, to be fair, though, Hawkeye was always late. He even smashed Stark's new TV, which definitely pissed off Tony, but Steve didn't seem to care all to much. That was the third thing; he just didn't care anymore! Rogers always always cared, no matter what it was!

Life to Natasha seemed very complicated recently and she had not been the first to notice; Wanda, Maria, Vision and even Fury noticed! They had all kept away from Rogers recently, and she was not sure if it helped or not.

Natasha sat on the couch on their floor, watching The Big Bang Theory. To be honest, she had kinda forgotten about the program and had gotten lost in her thoughts. When suddenly she heard loud footsteps, immediately she knew who it was. Natasha did not bother to turn around, she just stared at the screen, pretending to watch.

"Natasha," he said, it was not a greeting - more of him saying he recognised the fact she was there. He had gone back to calling her Natasha, and it drove her insane.

"Steve," she accepted the fact that he had at least said something to her; _it was a start right?_ Natasha had sat down on another couch across from her, and the silence just added to the tension. All that could be heard was the television. Natasha was dying slowly as the silence prolonged. She knew she would have to say something, seeing as he wasn't.

"So, how is Sharon?" She asked randomly, hesitating just before she said Sharon's name; she really had not thought this through. As his facial expression turned angry, she knew she had hit a spot and she was not looking forward to what was to come.

"Why would you care? And if you _must_ know, we broke up a week ago." Steve replied angrily as Natasha pushed herself backwards into the couch.

"Oh Steve, I'm sorry. I didn't know!" Everything started to make sense to her, but she had to keep Steve calm, otherwise she was afraid he would lose it.

"No, you wouldn't know, would you!"

"That's not fair. You have been in a bad mood all week, it's not my fault it ended, is it!" Natasha bit her lip in frustration - she shouldn't have said that.

 _Oh, but it is, if I did not love you so much things might be different!_ Steve thought to himself. " _I_ have been in a bad mood all week! Well, at least I'm not the one who ran away for six months without a word as to where they're going and then come back to skip from guy to guy!" Shit! He _knows_ he made her mad, and wished he could take it back, but he can't.

"At least I am not the one who has a shitty taste in girlfriends who happen to also be sluts and then tries to let themselves die so they can scare everyone when they try to get their assassinating 'BFF' out of fucking mind control!"

"Natasha, I'm sorry. I should not have said that," he whispers, realising what he did.

"It's a bit late for apologies now Rogers, isn't it?!" Natasha turns around so he can't see her tears trickling down her face as she storms out the room.

Steve stood there in the middle of the room alone, staring at the door she had slammed hard. A person passing by wouldn't be surprised if there were lasers coming from his eyes, that's how intensely he was staring at the door! After 10 minutes of just standing there, Steve left to go to the gym to think everything through.

Obviously, he knew this just was not working, he had to leave, he had to go somewhere far away for a while. He just didn't know where _._ Steve was just too overwhelmed with emotions to think straight and his thoughts were in a blur. Everything always seemed to happen so quickly to him, and for once, he just wanted things to be simple. But for some reason, it was never simple and he doubted it ever would be simple.

* * *

 **Hope you liked the chapter and feel free to comment I love to hear your ideas and thoughts for the story!**


	14. The Help of a Friend

**Hello, so I have uploaded on time! Yay! :)**

 **I just wanna a say a huge thanks for all the support from everyone,I really appreciate it! Also a huge shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen who reviewed the last chapter!**

 **So let's get on with the chapter...**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Steve had just finished in the gym that night, his head swirling with thoughts of the past, present and future. He was alone once again - it had become almost a routine being alone, it did not surprise him anymore. But Steve hated silence. Silence brought chills that made his hair stand up, it brought back memories he had tried so hard to keep away from and forget, but no matter how hard he tried, they'd haunt him wherever he went.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped into the huge room, it was his and Natasha's tastes mixed together, the red, white, blue and black colours mixed in perfect harmony. The lights were off however, and the windows were open, the room was exactly how he left it 5 hours ago. This time, though, it seemed darker than usual, almost spooky. And that was not because the lights were off. He started to move toward his door when he heard sniffling coming from Natasha's room next door. It broke his heart knowing he was the reason for her pain. His hand clenched his door handle and he squeezed it tightly as he thought of how he hurt her and when he took his hand of the the handle he stared downwards to see that it was squashed together. _Great_ , _just another thing for Tony to fix and for him to get pissed off at me for_ , he thought to himself crankily.

That night Steve could not sleep. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling and blaming himself for everything. And no one could tell him that he could not.

* * *

 **HQ**

Morning came soon enough, and the Avengers went back to work. They all had their separate offices, though Steve was pretty sure Clint did not even know he had a office since it looked the same every time he walked past it, just more dusty. Steve's desk was filled with paperwork that usually included signing and mission reports. He sighed to himself, not looking forward to another day of work. He had not seen Romonoff all morning and he was not sure whether he should be worried and upset or relieved.

Steve was getting ready to leave for lunch in either the small canteen or at a restaurant but that all depends on if he can find Sam or not.

* * *

 **Sam's POV**

Time to get revenge on Sharon for Cap. The world needs to see her true colours, I just have to play the recording through the speakers during lunch. Maybe Natasha can hear and understand things better! Yeah!

Right, it's 12:00, let's get started! Fury is gonna be so pissed but I don't give a fuck. This is for Cap!

"Yo, SHIELD agents, listen up! This includes the Avengers, by the way," I started, knowing that everyone could hear. Shit, can't turn back now!

"We have all been hearing that out good ol' Captain hurt Sharon Carter. So... I am here to show you the truth!"

 **Recording...**

"So, Sharon... I have been thinking a lot lately about everything - including us, of course..."

"Of course, Steve."

"Well.. you see, Peggy's been gone for a while now and I have- uh, been busy lately..."

"...Yeah, I noticed. But that comes with the job, I suppose."

"I think I will just go straight to the point and say... uh, Sharon, I like you, but this - or whatever this is - is not working and I think we should break up. I'm sorry, really sorry!"

"What?!"

"I said-"

"I know what you fucking said, asshole! Howdare you break up with me, especially since my aunt just died!" (Everybody gasped at Sharon's language)

"How dare I break up with you?! I have every right to end this, and I am being the adult here and saying it as kindly as I can that this just won't work out. Peggy died four months ago, Sharon! You can't just keep using her as an excuse to keep me as your boyfriend and treat me like shit!"

"I have treated you with nothing but kindness ever since she died, and I never really gave a shit about my aunt! She was just a good excuse to get close to you so I can fuck you!"

"Oh, that is _it_! Next time you try and find a fuck-buddy for your wishes, make sure you're looking in the right place, because there ain't no frickin fuck-buddy here, Sharon!" (All the agents were ducking their heads and whispering about how Steve is so right and that she got put in her place. Damn straight!)

"I think I will! Oh, and by the way, that red headed slut of yours is a monster! She will taint you, Steve! She doesn't give a shit about your feelings! Sluts like her should be in prison. You better run home to your bitch in a hurry, though, don't want to keep her waiting, bastard!"

The recording managed to catch Steve mutter a last line, "Natasha is no slut... she is an amazing woman and she is a better woman than you will ever be."

* * *

Natasha heard the last line and she felt shivers crawl up her spine, realising he did really care for her a lot! He stood up for her when she was not there to defend herself. She felt tears come to her eyes, but quickly blinked them away.

All the agents were booing at Sharon as she stormed out the room to most likely quit SHIELD from humiliation.

Steve stood stunned at what his friend had done for him. Steve never really cared for rumours, but he knew Sam did him a favour he could not believe he could repay.

Fury was with Hill, _smirking_ to himself!

"Shouldn't I bring Falcon to you, sir?" She asked.

Fury just shook his head in reply and went back to work.

Steve wandered through the hallways in search of the Falcon, whom he soon found leaning against a wall inspecting his wings.

"Hey, man," Sam greeted his friend without looking up.

"Sam, I just wanted to say thank you for what you did for me," Steve spoke in reply.

"Anytime man, maybe it helped you with Natasha," he added whilst wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't think that's gonna be fixed anytime soon..." he mumbled sadly with downcast eyes.

Sam looked up to find himself alone once again in the hallway.

* * *

 **If you want leave a comment I love to hear you thought and ideas! Also go and check out my Beta FanGirlWritesThings page and stories!**


	15. Leaving Once Again

**Hey, so I wanted to say that there will be romonogers but as you read the chapter you will realize something has to happen in th following chapters to reunite them. Also a quick shout out to guest and Katherine Marceline Queen for reveiwing the last chapter. Also other has been confusion over when I update and it every Thursday or Friday depending on how busy I am and how quick my Beta is etc.**

 **Anyway on with the story!**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Natasha had spent the afternoon drowning her problems in a few bottles of vodka on her floor. She had looked for Steve but could not find him anywhere, yet even if she _had_ found him, she doubted she would know what to say to him. Maybe _thanks for standing up for me, I owe you_ or _I love you and not T'Challa, so we can be together_! No, nothing could ever describe the overwhelming emotions she felt at that moment.

She thought she knew how to control her feelings, but that was before Steve came along and rocked her world, showing her how to be true to herself and to feel, something she assumed she would never truly know how to do. However, he came along and took her out of the darkness and showed her how to love and how to be loved in return. She learnt things about herself she never knew, but one thing is for sure she would never find a man like Steve! He captured her heart the moment he looked into her eyes, his soul and heart colliding with hers in an indescribable feeling. No, Steve Rogers is truly irreplaceable and she knew it.

In the Red Room, she was taught to have no emotion, no feelings, no memories, no strings attached. But those blue crystal eyes pure and innocent dug their way beneath all her barriers. Natasha would never quite understand how, but he took her a dark, forgotten monster and he showed her what it was to live. She could never repay him and yet, right now, all she had done was hurt him more. Natasha wanted to run, she really did. She had run her whole life, but she could never run from Steve somehow, there was no point because he would follow her whether it's a image of him in her head or physically Steve he'd still follow.

There was no point going out now; the sky was dark and Steve would have to return eventually... right?

There was a picture of a ballerina that hung on her wall. It reminded herself of what she had done the past and the future, how she hoped to become a better person and if she could be just an inch as pure as that ballerina in that picture, then she would be satisfied. If Steve were here he would tell her to quit calling herself a monster and that she was better than that, but where was he now? Where was her love? Where was her heart? And will he return? Questions and more questions. That's all she ever got, but never answers.

* * *

 **Bar in Brooklyn**

Steve was never much of a wine person; he preferred beer and Natasha had even enjoyed some vodka with him every now and again. He was at the bar Natasha had discovered a while back and they used to all go there to get away from everything. But he had not been back for a while now. Due to all this happening, for some reason she couldn't leave his mind and it annoyed the hell out of him.

He had gone straight to the Tower after talking to Sam and packed everything, or as much as he could; clothes, toothbrush, a picture of Peggy, his shield and a bunch of other stuff. But the most important item was his picture of Natasha, with her hair down smiling peacefully and looking free, like her demons had disappeared in a second. That's how he would always remember her; free and careless, smiling and just being her breathtaking self.

He was going to be gone for a while, it seemed. He decided to take a year away on a mission in Africa to collect intel and other things. Steve had chosen to the mission on his own accord surprising the few who knew about the mission.

It was a painfully slow job, but it had to be done. And he could not stay here any longer. It hurt too much. He was to stay at a hotel for the night after he had finished a last minute errand, then leave for SHIELD in the morning to discuss last minute arrangements with Fury. Fury had not said a word to Steve about how him going away for a year could affect the team, but he knew Fury had his own thoughts on this situation. Steve had specifically asked Fury to not say where he was, and he would come back in an emergency if needed but he thought Tony and Natasha could be in charge of the Avengers for a change, it might do them good.

Steve could not stay behind. He would not, knowing he had hurt the love of his life and that she was another's. It was too much and he had to get away from it. She wouldn't understand or maybe she would, but he couldn't be sure how Natasha would take the news yet he was certain she wouldn't be very pleased. Nobody would be.

Steve thought it would be harder saying goodbye, so maybe leaving without a word would be quicker and much easier, because if he said goodbye to her face he would break right there and never leave. He had to do this, for her, for himself and most importantly for the team. Although he was not quite sure how this benefitted the team in any way. But it was worth it, right? It had to be!

* * *

 **Thanks for reading this chapter, feel free to comment especially if you have any ways for me to improve or you want something to happen in future!**


	16. Dearest Natasha

**Hello readers, I am sorry to hav posted late but I had to wait for FanGirlWritesThings to finish checking over the story. Also a big thank you to everyone who has supported me with this story.**

 **WARNING: this is a sad chapter!**

 **Anyway on with the story...**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

Steve had packed up everything hours earlier, but there was one thing he just had to do. He had tried to hold it off and say it was worthless, but if he had to be separated from Natasha for a year or more, then this was the least he could do. It was already 3am, and he knew she woke up around 6am so he had plenty of time. The tower almost looked like it had been plunged into darkness so he used the minimum amount of light necessary so he would not disturb anyone.

As he entered Natasha's room he found it was everything he had expected it to be; simple, yet elegant and classy in its own way, the red walls with one black wall,surprisingly a big painting of a Russian ballerina hung on her wall, a huge en-suite and a king size oak bed. He wandered through her room and found her to not be there. Steve thought she had left on a mission, but Fury said nobody else was going anywhere for at least a week -he understood this knowing the team was gonna need time to take his departure in. Maybe in a year's time he won't come back. It was certainly a possibility, although it depended on a lot of things that mostly had to do with the woman he was searching for right now.

Steve exited her room and walked into the kitchen when he saw a figure slumped on a chair. After a moment of his eyes adjusting to the darkness, he noticed it was the outline of Natasha - she had fallen asleep. As he neared her, he saw the bottles of vodka piled up. He knew instantly it was because of him that she was drinking. It was ironic, really; everyone says Captain America would not hurt anyone innocent, yet he hurt the one he loved the most in the universe! He loved her. Yet she would never, in his mind, love him back.

Gently, he lifted her of the chair and carried her bridal style to the couch, he had thought that when he carried her like this again, it would be at their wedding but that was a dream. He tucked her under the covers and walked into the kitchen making her favourite pancakes one last time just for her, then he placed the plate on her table by the bed with a note and a present. Finally he leaned over kissed her forehead his lips pressing gently on her face. With one last loving look, Steve Rogers turned around and left without looking back.

* * *

Natasha woke up with a gasp, she'd had another nightmare; this time, Steve had died in her arms. As she turned over on her side, she saw a bunch of roses. Curious, she moved to the edge to find her favourite pancakes, a envelope and some roses. She closed her eyes, remembering that she had passed out in the kitchen... so someone came to put her in bed and her guess was Steve, only he could make such good pancakes.

She opened the envelope, unsure of the secrets hidden inside. Unfolding the paper, she read...

 _My dearest Natasha,  
I'm sorry to have not have said goodbye, but it was too hard and I couldn't bear it. I'm leaving for a year or more, depending on how long it takes. I may never come back, I have not made up my mind yet, but one thing is for sure; I don't want you to blame yourself for me leaving, I know you will._

 _You must understand something; when I came out of the ice, I was alone and everything hurt, but you came into my life that day on the helicarrier and turned it upside down, you gave me something to fight for and helped me to understand where I stand in this world, and for that I will always be grateful. However I have hit a point when the one thing I want, NO, I NEED, I cannot have. Do you know what that is, Nat? It's you! I want you! I need you!_

 _I've wanted you from the day I laid my eyes on you. Unfortunately for me you are another's, I was too late. I think maybe it's my curse, always being just too late. I hope he makes you happy and treats you better, because you deserve only the best, not me, a broken man. I will miss you very much and every night, I will look to the stars and think of you. I can only hope you will think of me too. I doubt you ever really loved me, but if you did, I wish that we could have given us a try. It's too late, though. I don't want to make you unhappy anymore, that's why left so you can have a good life with a good man because I know you will always be perfect in my eyes; remember that at least.  
I will admit it; I have fallen for you. No! I love you, Natalia Alianovna Romanova. I will always love you, мой ангеpл, только мой (my angel, my only)._

 _I hope with all my heart you love me just a bit, Natalia, because I love you so very much, inside the envelope is something for you to remember me by if I don't return. I also made your favourite pancakes just for you I hope you enjoy them._

 _You and Stark are to the take over the Avengers temporarily, but if I do leave permanently, I have chosen for you to take over the Avengers with Stark as your second in command. Please don't look for me. I know you will try, but it's best this way I'm sure, I can't hurt you or anyone else anymore!  
Goodbye my love for now, till another time, I will miss you dearly Nat.  
With all my heart and love and best wishes for your future,_  
 _Steve Rogers._

Tears streamed down Natasha's face, onto the paper. She placed her hand into the envelope, grasping into some cold objects. As she pulled them out, she realized they were his dog tags from the war. As she placed them around her neck, she vowed to never take them off till the day he returned. Then, she curled up and sobbed, clutching at the tags as if they were the only thing keeping her alive. That day she locked herself in her room and the only food she ate were those pancakes he had made specially for her!

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this chapter, and if you want leave a review I love hear your thoughts and comments on the chapter!**


	17. Messed Up

**Hey, so this chapter does not actually involve Natasha and Steve because I decided to show more of the Avengers feelings on the situation since their is not quite a lot on their feelings in the past. Also a huge shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen who reviewed the** **last chapter! Thank you to everyone for your support and ideas I really appreciate it!**

 **Anyway on with the story...**

* * *

 **Avengers Tower**

It had been a week since Steve left on his mission and the Avengers were completely messed up. They had barely spoken to each other, especially not about Steve leaving. They were in deeper shit than anyone imagined, and Fury was considering either a couple of weeks off or Steve comes back. They were in no condition to leave the tower. All the Avengers did was lay around, going through all their issues.

Vision was uncertain of what to think of the Captain leaving, yet as everyone else seemed rather tense, he kept to himself rarely knowing a lot about human technology. He spent his days figuring out how to use different equipment with the occasional help from Tony 's AI, F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Wanda stayed in her room, anxiously awaiting any signs of Steve returning. She had known for a while now that Natasha and Steve both loved each other, but they both doubted the other's love. She knew she could help, but she promised herself she would not interfere and that they had to figure it out on their own - even if it took years. After hearing the news of Steve's departure she immediately knew the to reason why he left , along with also knowing Natasha's plan to make Steve jealous, she even knew of his breakup with Sharon before everyone else. Sometimes, she wondered why they could not just say that they loved each other. It was so painfully obvious to everyone around them. And as the days went by, Wanda lost hope of Steve's return and decided to try her best in encouraging Natasha to not give up hope. To her, Steve was an idiot for leaving.

T'Challa had only heard the news days later, because he had to leave early to go back Wakanda for some urgent business. He had desperately wanted to return to check up on everyone, but had been held back until the following week. He was one of the few that was not surprised by Steve leaving, especially after what Natasha had done; pushing Steve over the edge when they kissed. He still believed Steve was stupid. However he understood that Natasha shared no signs of loving Steve back, so he would obviously run so she would never know his true feelings about her. To be honest, it wasn't fair on Steve and he knew, it especially after everything the Captain's already lost.

Rhodey was in shock. He had looked up to Steve, especially when growing up with Captain America as everyone's hero. So this was quite unexpected. He was almost hurt by what Steve had done - leaving suddenly with no warning - but he had heard of why he left from Tony and felt almost bad for the Captain. But he was mainly upset by the fact that Steve had just left Natasha. He had left her alone, but maybe this had been coming for a while now. It was not really anyone's fault, but they blamed one another, and because of that, they slowly broke off as a team during that week, building up walls of their own. The Avengers had hit a new low and would it be a while before they could build up that lost trust again.

Sam was disappointed in Steve. For running from his problems, too, but for the time he had known Steve, he saw that Natasha had been pushing the Captain's buttons slowly and the arguement and kiss had pushed Steve over the edge. It was sad, watching all his friends run from their feelings. but there was nothing he could do but encourage them. But no one had a clue where Steve was, or how to reach him and that'swhat worried Sam the most; what would Steve do when nobody could keep an eye on him? Sam was angry at Fury for just letting his friend leave, especially with the state that Rogers had spent his week away from the tower. It was almost too quiet there and tension filled every room, and everywhere you looked you could see just a little bit of Steve. It was amazing Natasha was able to cope in that building, because it was just too much for Sam.

Clint had rarely seen Natasha that week and it scared him. Even more so when he noticed she had lost a lot of weight, she hadn't been sleeping and looked like she just didn't give a shit anymore. It made him angry watching how broken she had become over a man that had left her. Barton had no sympathy for Steve whatsoever and it showed. He thought Steve was an asshole and deserved to never come back for what he did, but he didn't dare say anything in front of Natasha, knowing that she would kill him. Clint was just a little jealous of how Steve had taken over her heart so quickly,nbut he was more of an overprotective brother than her lover. Plus, he had already had a wife. However, Hawkeye was pissed and everyone knew it.

Bucky had gone back into the shadows and spoke less than even Natasha, but you were least likely to see him around the tower. He felt sorry that his friend had to go through more pain, but their lives were just never peaceful. It's who they were, whether they chose this route or not. Bucky could have easily hacked S.H.I.E.L.D for Steve's whereabouts but he didn't, because he knew his friend needed some space for once. He knew lots of people were furious with Steve but he was not one of them. He understood that Steve needed space, but it was a shame he had to break friendships in the process.

Lastly, there was Tony whom had been the worst of the lot and swearing more than usual. Stark was pissed at everyone for thousands of reasons, but he never got mad at Natasha. It's like he had grown to become a father figure in her life and he understood what she was going through. Everyone avoided Tony but Natasha. Then again, she rarely left her room, so Tony, often working day and night in his lab, had pure hatred for Steve and would most likely hurt him if he dared to walk back into the tower. He was the worst and at night, if you listened closely, you could hear Tony screaming and ranting, and even smashing glass as he ranted on about Steve.

The Avengers were a mess and everyone seemed to know it, but the Avenger would never do anything because for some reason, it still felt like Steve was there to rely on. But every morning, they woke up to the realization he was gone.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this chapter, I upload every Thursday or Friday. If you want leave a review please do, I love to hear what you think of the chapter and if you have any ideas for the story!**


	18. Gone and Coming Back?

**Hey, so I owe everyone a apology for forgetting to mention I was on a two week holiday and was suppose to upload on Monday however my Beta only just sent it back, so again I'm truly sorry. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone for there support and ideas which will be added into the story. Also a quick shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen and Witchcraft12 who reviewed my last chapter.**

 **So last of all enjoy...**

* * *

Gone. The word had been ringing in Natasha's head for months now, driving her insane. Every painful feeling, every regret fuelled her to fight and never had she been more dangerous and reckless in her life. Natasha no longer fought to live - she fought to die. This worried every Avenger, because they all know that all she ever saw was blood on her hands. But now that she also had Steve's, it just was not the same any more. She became cold, secluded, she did not smile or laugh anymore; it just was not the same. Fury had noticed her eagerness to be hurt, every mission she came back more injured than the last one and she never left time to heal. She always gave it a day or two and went back to work. She had gone back to the Black Widow and it even scared her - but she would never admit it.

Maria walked into Fury's office with a grim face, she was there to talk about the Avengers (mainly Natasha). It seemed to be common topic, lately.

"What was the latest report, Hill?"

"Well, sir, most of HQ is back up and running, yet we are still going through the agents to check for Hydra." With a sigh. "The Avengers don't seem to be the team they were before. They don't trust one another, and not one of them ever comes back without a cut, so it's not very promising at the moment. It could also have to do with their leader locking herself away."

"Ah, on that topic, any news on Natasha's last mission?"

"On her last mission she came back with two bullet wounds, a cracked rib and lots of cuts and bruises. It seems to be getting worse..."

"What do you think about this, Agent?"

"If you want my honest opinion, I would say... look for a new leader," Maria suggested nervously.

"I can't. Steve said it was to be her and it would break her heart even more if she knew she had let him down." Fury sighed, rubbing his temples.

"So what, we bring him back?"

"No. Not yet. Send her on one last mission and let's see how it goes, then we will move on from there."

"Okay, sir."

* * *

 **Steve's POV**

It's been 7 months and I still miss her. The mission was supposed to help, but it's done nothing but make my feelings deepen for Natasha. I can't help it if I love her, but I have to be able to keep away so she can be happy with T'Challa, although in wrote that note... which probably did not help much. It's too late now, though; by the time I get back they will be married. That is, _if_ I go back... I wouldn't count on it, though.

I carry my picture of her wherever I go. I never lose sight of it, it keeps me going, gives me something to fight for. Without it, I would be dead. I am not sure I can go back - they will all hate me for what I did and to be honest, I can't blame them; I'd be mad if I were in their shoes. Alone, I was detained to be alone the moment I flew that plane into the ice.

I miss her, getting up every day is a struggle. Knowing it's one day closer to seeing her disappointment in me and another day without seeing her perfect face and hearing her soothing voice. I never wanted to be alone, I certainly didn't ask for it but as they say; every choice comes with a consequence, and now, I am living the consequences of my choices.

 _Ring, Ring._

"Hello?" I ask cautiously.

"Rogers? It's Hill." She spoke in panicked voice.

"Hill? What're you calling for?"

"You need to come back immediately! An Avenger is d..." Sparks of electricity.

"What? Your line's acting up, what did you say, Hill? What's going on?"

"It's... Natasha..."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading I upload every Thursday or Friday, check out FangirlWritesThings my Beta reader's stories and if you want leave a comment below I love to hear what you think!**


	19. A Dark Voice

**Hey, I finally posted on the right day! I know lately this story has been all of the place with th updating time but it just been really hectic lately so hopefully I should be back to normal by Christmas. I hope to update either next Wednesday or Thursday. Also a big shout out to Guest, Witchcraft12 and Katherine Marceline Queen for reveiwing my last chapter!**

 **Now I'm with the chapter, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Steve's POV**

 _Ring, Ring._

"Hello?" I ask cautiously.

"Rogers? It's Hill." She spoke in a panicked voice.

"Hill? What're you calling for?"

"You need to come back immediately! An Avenger is d..." _Static._

"What? Your line's acting up, what did you say, Hill? What's going on?"

"It's... Natasha..." My heart jumps into my throat because _anything_ could've happened, and judging by Hill's worried tone, I'm mentally cursing myself over and over at having left her, goddammit.

"What's wrong with Nat... Hill, tell me!"

"You need to get here soon..."

"But what's going on?" I plead over the line.

"I have to go. Hurry up, Steve, before it's too late..." _Click._

The line went dead.

* * *

 **4 hours ago**

Natasha lay on the couch. She _desperately_ wanted to get up, but Tony was watching her like a hawk and she couldn't get anywhere without an alarm sounding. She wasn't that bad, honestly. She just needed to fight or move it kept her mind off things. Hopefully, she'd be healed by tomorrow, thanks to her serum. Natasha knew that it wouldn't always save her from death, and to be honest, she was not counting on it to save her.

Suddenly, she felt an urge to eat. She realised that she had not eaten any breakfast or lunch and that it was 6 o'clock in the evening. Usually, Natasha would be fine not eating, but tonight, she was hungry.

"Hey Jarvis, can you tell Tony to go and get a few shawarmas or something? I'm starving."

"..." No reply from the accented voice that was usually so helpful. _What the hell?_

"Jarvis?" She asked, in a smaller voice this time.

The lights switched off in a flash, and instantly, she grabbed her gun and knives from under the pillow she'd lain on and cautiously moved towards the door. When she heard a click she automatically fired her gun at the shadow who ducked, _just_ missing the bullet.

"Oy!" Came a familiar voice, with the same snark as usual.

"Tony?" She questioned, her guard still up.

"Yeah, it's me. The one who gave you a roof over your head, the one who you should certainly not be _firing_ at, little red," he grumbled, stepping out of the shadows a bit more.

"I-I thought it was..."

"A bad guy? Come on, red. You should know by now that this tower is indestructible!" He beamed, puffing his chest up proudly.

"That's what they said about the Titanic, and looked what happened to it!" She retorted, the grip on her gun loosening just a fraction.

"Different thing!" He waved his hands around.

"Sure, sure. Anyway, if your tower's so great, then why aren't the lights on and why isn't Jarvis working?"

"Well that's what I'm trying to-" A door opened and a dark object rolled across the floor, interrupting Stark's sentence.

"Grenade!" Natasha shouted as they ran to the other side of the room, to a steel door that would not budge. She growled in frustration.

"Where's Banner and Thor?" She whispered sharply, glaring at Tony.

"Above us, hopefully coming to save our butts."

"Is yours even worth saving?" She replied as he pretended to be offended by he words. However, before the billionaire could shoot something witty back at her, another voice interrupted them, the voice cold as ice and sending prickles down both their spines.

"I'll have you know Natalie, you will come back to your true home, where I shall make you strong once again. You have become weak here, but I will will strengthen you and bring you back to the darkness that once controlled you."

After a few calculated moments of silence, she shot back coldly, "I do not fear you and will not return."

A little _tsk_ on the person's behalf. "I feared you would say that. Your friend dies unless you come with me," the voice ended its sentence with a snarl.

"Don't do it, Nat," Stark pleaded, genuinely looking rather worried.

"I'm sorry, Tony. Fine, I will come with you," she spoke, walking towards the figure in careful steps.

"You are too easy, Natalia, I thought I trained you better than that!"

"You have me. Now _let him go_."

"I thought you'd know better than that," the dark voice replied, lifting a gun.

"You promised..."

"I did no such thing, Romanova." The gun aimed at Tony instantly went _bang_ and three bullets shit out. But they didn't touch Tony- they had landed in her chest when she'd jumped in front of Stark and landed with a crack on the floor, breaking a rib bone.

" _No_ ," Tony screams as Thor and Bruce arrive to find her laying there, crimson blood already beginning to ooze out of her bullet wounds. With one glimpse at her, they turned to around to beat the shit out the men, but most had escaped already.

"I will be back, Natalia," the shadow swiftly disappeared from the room in time for an escape.

"Let's get her to S.H.I.E.L.D immediately. I will call Hill. Head up to the helicopter." Tony pretty much _spat_ the words, that's how much pain he was in right now.

In silence, they carried her up and headed to HQ.

* * *

 **S.H.I.E.L.D HQ**

The Avengers lay around either side, sitting or pacing. Hospitals and surgery made them all uncomfortable. They were exhausted and broken, awaiting news from _someone_ as Maria trudged toward them half-heartedly.

"Hill... how is she?" Sam asked.

"Not so great. She's lost a lot of blood, has a cracked rib, three bullet wounds and her heart's stopped twice already."

"This is all my fault, those bullets were meant for me!" Tony mumbled putting his head in his hands as he tried not to completely lose it.

"She did what any of us would do, Tony, don't beat yourself up about it." Bruce encouraged, patting Tony's shoulder in a calming way.

"Have you contacted Steve yet?"

"Yes. He's on his way."

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch for breaking Nat's heart," Clint growled.

Soon after, the doctor strode out of the room and started talking to Maria as they all watched expectantly. When the little, hushed conversation finished, Hill turned to the rest of them, a frown playing on her lips.

"They did all the can but she's... she's in a coma..."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this chapter, if you want check out my Beta FanGirlWritesThings page and stories.**

 **If you want drop a comment below, I lov to hear what you think!**

 **Until next time!**


	20. Coming Home isn't Easy!

**Hey, I hav a lot to say so first off this is chapter 20! It's unbelievable seriously! I just wanna say a huge thanks to for all the support** **.**

 **Next I have some really bad news, basically I'm moving tomorrow but I won't have WiFi for a month so I won't be updating for at least three weeks, I'm soo sorry!:'(**

 **The moment I hav WiFi I shall upload but I also think it's s good time to take a two week break especially with Christmas so coming up! I am really sorry my posting days had been all over the place but when I upload again I hope to try and upload on the right days!**

 **So I have a quick shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen and JamesRogers1122 for reveiwing my last chapter! To make up for not posting for a month I made it a bit longer than usual!**

 **So last of all enjoy!**

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 **S.H.I.E.L.D HQ**

The Avengers - or what was left of them - were around either side of the bed, sitting or pacing. Hospitals and surgeries made them all uncomfortable. They were exhausted and broken, awaiting news from _someone_ to say _anything_ as Maria trudged toward them half-heartedly.

"Hill... how is she?" Sam asked.

"Not so great. She's lost a lot of blood, has a cracked rib, three bullet wounds and her heart's stopped twice already."

"This is all my fault, those bullets were meant for me!" Tony mumbled, putting his head in his hands as he tried not to completely lose it.

"She did what any of us would do, Tony, don't beat yourself up about it." Bruce encouraged, patting Tony's shoulder in a calming way.

"Have you contacted Steve yet?" Sam looked up.

"Yes. He's on his way," Hill replied briefly.

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch for breaking Nat's heart," Clint growled in his seat.

Soon afterwards, the doctor strode out of the room and started talking to Maria as they all watched expectantly. When their hushed conversation finished, Hill turned to the rest of them, a frown playing on her lips.

"They did all the can but she's... she's in a coma..." Maria sighed heavily, nobody deserved this pain. Especially not Natasha, she had already gone through so much. Yet Hill stayed strong for all their sakes.

* * *

 **Airport**

Steve had just landed, getting there 2 hours earlier because Tony's jet was very fast and he'd threatened the pilot (now that he thought about it, he knew he'd regret that in the future). He just wanted to see Natasha at that very moment, but he was afraid of going back, that they would all yell and blame him for everything. And if they did, he would take it without a single tear shed from him, but it might cost Tony quite a few punching bags later on. Surprisingly, though, Steve did not care, he could not care less. Even if the world was ending, he just needed to see Natasha.

As the car drew closer to the hospital he grew anxious, his palms were sweaty and his heart started beating faster. Steve didn't know who was there or how Natasha was doing, since the call from Maria wasn't exactly helpful. By now, she could be dead for all he knew, but he tried to stop thinking about the worst of it.

He stopped thinking altogether as the hospital came into view, his hand on the steel door. The car came to a halt, and Steve jumped out and slammed the door, making a dead sprint towards the entrance.

He sprinted up the stairs to the 6th floor where all the private rooms were. As he neared the door he stopped, his head hung in shame as he stared at the handle, contemplating whether he should or not.

"Son, you alright there?" An elderly man asked behind him. Steve looked up an turned around to face the man.

"I'm... not sure."

"First time you're going in there?"

"Yes, sir" he replied, almost shaking.

The man laid a hand upon his arm. "You love that person in there very much?"

"Yes, I love her very much, sir."

"You know son, the first time you walk in there is the worst, you never be know what state they're in. It can scare even the strongest man. But if you don't go in you will regret it every day. It's not easy at all, but no one said life was easy kid. But y'know what? We have to keep moving on, because if you don't, you stay stuck in the past. You have be strong. Not just for yourself, but for her. And if you love her, there's never, _ever_ a good reason to give up. _NEVER_ give up on love, because true love always finds a way."

"Thank you..." Steve hesitated, unsure of what to call this rather inspirational man.

"Jack," the oldie supplied helpfully.

"Thank you, Jack."

"Anytime, kid," he spoke as he walked off, leaving Steve alone.

With a sudden surge of confidence, he pulled down the handle and pushed the door open. As he entered, every face turned towards him in clear surprise. Sam and Thor were the only ones who actually looked really happy with him being there. The rest either looked disgusted, angry or too tired to care about him right now.

He stayed there in unsettling silence for a few seconds, before Maria stood up and spoke, breaking the tension in the air.

"Hello, Rogers, glad you could finally join us," she smiled but he noticed it didn't reach her eyes. All he saw was pain and hurt, the tension that's built up inside of her and trying to break out.

"Natasha," it was the only thing he could say, yet that one small word had so many meanings to him. Before Hill could answer, she was interrupted.

"So you're back, are you?" Clint snarled, "Or have you come to use up our hospitality and then take off in the night again?"

"I haven't thought about if I stay or not ,but when I come to a conclusion, I will let you know." Steve calmly replied, and the anger inside Stark got the better of him.

"You son of a _bitch_! You know, I grew up with my father never truly loving me or my mother, you wouldn't even know we existed if you had met him. But you know what you _would_ hear? You'd always hear Captain America's the greatest, and shit like 'I will find Steve if its the last damn thing I do'! Do you know how _hard_ it is to hear your father loving and praising someone else but _not you_ every damn _day_?! There was 'no I'm proud of you Tony'! He loved you more than his _own son_. He'd be so disappointed to find out that he wasted his life on a common coward who's too fucked up to care about anyone else but himself!"

"Your father loved you, Tony, but he never knew how to show it," he murmured, his cheeks flaring up in shame and his voice sounding meek to his own ears.

"You wouldn't know. You're to much of dick to ever know." Suddenly, Wanda stood up and decided to voice her own thoughts, the courageous outburst startling Steve a bit. She continued talking.

"You know when you left, you broke Natasha. No one saw her for weeks, she became reckless, and lost her will to live. She needed you, but you left her alone with _nothing_!" She muttered, the little mumble eventually turning into a scornful hiss.

"You know why she's here, Rogers? She's here because of _you_! You tore her apart!" Clint glared.

Steve took a step towards Barton, his fists clenched, before finally gaining words to defend himself. "I left because she broke my heart, I love her, and on the day I decided to try and tell her, I found her kissing T'Challa. I lost it and I left. I would do so much to take it back, but I can't!"

"Well you left her in a coma," Clint snarled back as Steve took a step back in shock. He shook his head as if to reassure himself _it's a lie_ and he rushes across the room and opens the door to where she is. There are cords coming out of her everywhere, there's blood staining the sheets a dark crimson, there is a pained looked on her face like she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. The worst part is knowing that he's the cause for her pain.

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 **I hope you liked thus chapter and feel free to leave a review below, till next time... :)**


	21. COMA?

**Hey! I know it's been a long time,I'm sorry, but I promise I have a reason...**

 **Basically as you all know my WiFi was gone for a month so I could not upload. Then I wa a diagnosed with depression and a close friend of mine died . So it's been quite hectic in my life lately but I promise to try and upload every week.**

 **We have reached over 15,000 views and I want to say a huge s to everyone for there constant a big thank you to FangirlWritesThings who is my amazing beta reader. Another big shout out to Guest, Katherine Marceline Queen and alecmalfoy01 who reviewed the last chapter!**

 **I hope you all enjoy the story and feel free to review I love to hear what you think!**

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"You know why she's here, Rogers? She's here because of _you_! You tore her apart!" Clint glared, emotions nowhere near being in check.

Steve took a step towards Barton, his fists clenched, before finally gaining words to defend himself. "I left because she broke my _heart_ , I love her! And on the day I decided to try and tell her, I found her kissing T'Challa. I lost it and I left. I would do so much to take it back, but I _can't_!"

"Well, you left her in a coma," Clint snarled back as Steve took a step back in shock, the words hitting him like a brick wall. He shook his head slowly and unsurely, as if to reassure himself _it's a lie_ _,_ and then, he rushes across the room and opens the door to where she lies. There are cords coming out of her everywhere, there's blood, staining the sheets a dark crimson, there is a pained looked on her face, like she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. The worst part is knowing that he's the cause for her pain.

* * *

 **Sam's POV**

Its been 3 weeks since I had seen Steve stare through the glass at Natasha, helplessness clear in his eyes. He has been mess since he came back but, I cannot blame him. I would have been the same. Nobody had the guts to break his heart more (not even Tony) and tell him Natasha and T'Challa were a lie, but we agreed it would be better if T'Challa only saw Natasha when Steve was not there, which was rarely ever. From the day he arrived, he had stayed by her side, pacing, holding her hand and talking to her about his every regret. He cried a lot, but never when we were around. Yet you could see the dried tear stains on his cheeks. Steve also barely slept or ate. We tried to help; me, Thor, Maria, even Fury tried, but our efforts were in vain. He was driving himself to death and I think, deep down, that's what he wanted. Clint and Tony were still furious with Steve and when they visited it would be the only time he would Leave to go shower and eat.

Steve Rogers is a broken man, but he is still my friend and i will do everything in my power to help stop him drive himself over the edge before it's too late.

We do not know whether we should keep hoping if she will wake up or not. I would like to see Natasha wake up, but she hasn't shown a lot of signs of improvement. It is worrying to know that one person's life ending could control the fate of another's.

There have been no missions from Fury. I think he's avoiding the tension, which I would gladly do. But I refuse to abandon Steve and Natasha. It would be wrong.

Tony's been quiet, he's barely spoken; working day and night in the basement on some invention - barely sleeping - rarely seeing the light of day. The light in his eyes has simmered down and gone. He is really messed up, and I think he knows it too. But being Tony Stark, he is to proud to ask for help. Oh, the things pride can do to a man.

* * *

 **Steve's POV**

Her hand lay limp between my rough fingers as if she were already dead. It feels like she is dead - like I have lost her for good. I don't _want_ to lose her, though; I would rather kill 100 men than sit in this damned chair and watch her lifeless body lie vulnerable in front of me. It feels wrong watching the bravest woman I kniw lie there lifeless in front of me, she should be by my side teasing me over my age and fighting with me but she's not- she's in a coma instead.

I have sat by her side every day. Everyone says I should eat or sleep, but how can I rest knowing the woman I love could be gone any damn minute? Maybe I _am_ driving myself to death, but I'm sure death is better than knowing anything could happen to my Natasha. I read her file a while back and I know that in the Red Room, she was injected with a serum which is very similar to mine, so all her cuts and bruises are almost completely healed. Now, it is just waiting for her to awaken from her coma. My old dog tags hang loosely around her neck, reassuring me that she never forgot me, just like I never forgot her.

I haven't seen Jack since I arrived here. I'm thinking about asking someone if they know where he is, I would like to get to know him better. Since my first day here, Wanda, Tony and Clint have been picking on me constantly, blaming me for all this. But what they tell me is useless, because I already know it's all true. I don't deserve to live or to be here with her and it is my fault that she is here. If I had not left, she would not have become so reckless and be here right now. If only, if only I could change the past...

"Hello, I'm nurse Roberts. I just need to check Miss Rushman over quickly," the nurse spoke as she entered the room, a gentle aura in her stride.

"It's quite alright, ma'am. Oh," I suddenly had the urge to ask, "By the way, do you know a fellow named Jack from somewhere 'round?"

"Jack?" The nurse smiled, flashing her gleaming pearls at me. "You must mean Jack Peterson, he's a nice man. Always so kind to everyone..."

"Uh, do you know where he is?" I asked, hoping she had the answer I needed.

"Oh, of course! He's probably going to be in his daughters' room. Five rooms down."

"Thank you," I replied, then rushed out the room to find him.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading another chapter!**


	22. Jack's Story

**Hey, I'm so happy to upload another chapter! Also a big thanks to FangirlWritesThings who has been my Beta Reader and is just always eager to help so please go check out her stories we'd both really appreciate it.**

 **A huge shout out to Guest and alecmalfoy01 who reviewed the last chapter.**

 **I also have exciting news that this story has hit over 16,000 veiws and over 30 reveiws, so I wanna say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone for their support and for not giving up on my story .**

 **I would also like to say quickly that if any of y** **ou have ideas that you would like to see happen in future chapters please let me know. Don't forget** **I love to hear what you think about each chapter!**

 **Now on with the story...**

* * *

 **Steve's POV**

"Hello, I'm nurse Roberts. I just need to check Miss Rushman over quickly," the nurse spoke as she entered the room, a gentle aura in her stride.

"It's quite alright, ma'am. Oh," I suddenly had the urge to ask, "By the way, do you know a fellow named Jack from somewhere 'round?"

"Jack?" The nurse smiled, flashing her gleaming pearls at me. "You must mean Jack Peterson, he's a nice man. Always so kind to everyone..."

"Uh, do you know where he is?" I asked, hoping she had the answer I needed.

"Oh, of course! He's probably going to be in his daughters' room. Five rooms down."

"Thank you," I replied, then rushed out the room to find him.

Before I knew it I had arrived at the room. There was a glass window, and through it, I could make out Jack holding a girl's hand. _She must be his daughter,_ I mused. Her eyes were closed but she had a sense if serenity surrounding her. It almost made me envy her.

I knocked on the door, still unsure of what to say. Then, I heard a voice say that I could come in, so I entered the room to see a surprised Jack, sadly smiling up at me for just a second, before looking back down at the girl.

"Hello, Steve," he said quietly, as if he'd been expecting me.

He knew my name, but... how? I never told him. "H-how do you, uh..."

"Kid," the older man - physically, at least - chuckled. "You're Captain America. I think I'd know your face if I saw it."

"Oh, of course, " I replied uneasily. I hadn't a clue as to what I should say. "So... is she your, uh daughter?"

"Yes," Jack sighed, "She's been through quite a lot."

"If you don't mind me asking, but why are you here alone?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't mind. I was going to have to talk about it sooner or later, anyway. My daughter, Rachel," he gestured to the girl on the bed. "Was once married to a nice chap named Adam. They had a daughter named Anna, such a sweet girl. Anna was only 5 years old when Adam started to get a drinking problem. He'd lost his job and then, they'd found out Anna had cancer.

"He had no money to help their daughter, so he became angry and took his anger out on them both. Rachel was out at work one day, when my used-to-be wife Mary had made dinner and had gone to drop it off, she found him abusing Anna. She was so brave trying to stop him but h-he killed her and Anna," Jack's eyebrows furrowed in solemnity. "When Rachel found their bodies, she called the police. But when they arrived, she was in a coma and she has been in one for the 4 months ever since. Adam's gone missing." Jack finished speaking as two tears tricked down his cheeks, but he quickly wiped them away, as if I hadn't noticed.

"I'm so sorry," I didn't know what to say. It just reminded me of Natasha and the fact that she may never wake again.

"It's alright. I will never stop hoping that she will wake up. What about you, son?" I was shocked by the unexpected question and nervously shuffled around in my seat.

"And don't even think about lying," Jack half-chastisted. "I can already tell you're a bad liar from just looking at you."

"She always told me that," I mumbled quietly, reminiscing the days when she would tease me about always being honest.

"She?" Jack's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh, uh, Natasha." I replied hastily, eager to finish this topic and move on, instead.

"Is she your sister or-"

"Oh, no, no," I quickly responded, averting my gaze.

"Well, who is she?" Jack inquired.

"Um well, Natasha's a lot of things. She is a close friend," I began, "my teammate," _always there to have my back_ , "my partner," _on and off the battlefield_ , "my comfort," _for those days where I couldn't take that mantle of God's Righteous Man_ , "my hope," _for when even my reckless ass lost that vital part of myself_ , "my joy," _because there hasn't been a day she couldn't make me crack a smile_ , "and... the love of my life."

"Does she know you love her, kid?"

"No, and she'll never get the chance to know now," I sighed, my heart thudding a dull ache in my chest.

"You shouldn't give up hope just because she's in a coma, son. You should go home, clean yourself up, eat something, come back here and make her room special for when she wakes up. And when she does wake up, hold her in your arms, tell her how much you love her," his eyes met mine. "And never let go."

"You know what Jack," a small smile grew on my face. "That's _exactly_ what I'm going to do." I got up, suddenly motivated, and headed to the door. But just before I left, I turned around and said, "Thanks, Jack."

"No problem, son," he replied happily as I strode back into the corridor.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading another chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **I upload every Thursday or Friday!**


	23. Betrayed By Your Country?

**Hey! So first I would like to say a huge thanks to my Beta Reader FangirlWritesThings pleas go check out he stories. You can follow me on Tumblr at Moustachesayswhatever.**

 **Also I would like to ask that if any of y** **ou have ideas that you would like to see happen in future chapters please let me know, I would really appreciate it!**

 **Don't forget** **I love to hear what you think about each chapter!**

 **Now on with the story...**

* * *

 **Natasha's POV**

I find myself alone in the dark, like always.

It's always the same long dress with the softly-flowing tutu. The broken pointe shoes. The bloody hands that, no matter how hard I rubbed, would have permanent marks of blood on them. A handgun tucked into the waistband of the skirt, damaging the innocent look as much as I was damaging it.

 _I've got red in my ledger..._

Only this time in this surreal fantasy that felt too real, I spin around when I hear a voice. "Дорогой Natalia," Alexi Shostakov, I could recognise that voice anywhere - even if I couldn't see him. I knew it would only be a matter of time until I saw him step out of the shadows and show his face like the cowardly asshole he was. "Как долго это было. Вы должны вернуться на родину. Вот где вы принадлежите. (My dear Natalie, how long it has been. You must return to your homeland. That is where you _belong_.)"

"Моя страна предала меня давным-давно, (My country betrayed me a long time ago.)" I replied coldly without missing a beat, trying to locate him by his voice to at least sock him in the throat.

"Ваша страна никогда не предавала вас Natalia. Ты предал свою страну, (Your country never betrayed you, Natalia. _You_ betrayed your country.)" his voice was shattered glass in my ears, vengeance and poison dripping from his words alike.

"We both know you speak lies, Alexi," I retorted uneasily, furrowing my brows when everything seemed eerily quiet. With a burst of confidence, I continued, "You cannot hurt me anymore. I refuse to fall for your tricks and lies. You won't win this fight again." And with one brush of anger, I spat, " _Leave. Me alone_."

"Watch your moves," Alexi snarled, and I spun my head as my ears followed the voice. "Because you may have won this battle, but you have not won the war."

"Not _yet_ , Alexi," I retorted, deciding to not take any shit from him. "Not _yet_."

"Я вернусь за тобой Natalia (I will be back for you, Natalia)."

And then, I heard nothing. Soon, I came to the conclusion that he'd vanished into the dark

... Once again, as did I.

* * *

 **Maria Hill's POV**

Being Fury's second in command is exhausting, even more so when your close friend is lying in a coma, not knowing that there is a man who loves her is waiting by her side every. Single. Day.

Before Natasha got into the coma, we had talked about our wishes and our dreams - even if we only had a few. But I remember Natasha's only _real_ wish, which had been for Steve to come back. It hadn't mattered whether he hated her or loved her, as long a he came back safely she would be satisfied - or so she said. I've known Natasha for a while now, and having Steve nearby, constantly hating her, would drive her crazy. But at least... it would have saved her from a coma.

I constantly have this guilty feeling for not telling Steve to come back sooner. I could have stopped this, saved them both the pain. And now... she may never come back.

Fury is stressed, too. He is always in a bad mood and has not been the most pleasant to be around. Yesterday, he shouted at a agent for clicking his pen only twice! I know he is worried about the Avengers, but he might be going crazy just for Romanoff. Yet, he still has faith in them.

However, Cap and Stark are just too different and never get along. It won't work. I have no faith there, but Nat did.

And right now, I believe it's _her_ hope and faith in them which is the only thing keeping them together.

All the Avengers are within reach, but they are not together. Thor is with Jane and Darcy - apparently, Tony's still moping around in Malibu, waiting for Pepper to come back to him (but I am pretty sure she is waiting for him so he really needs to get off his sorry ass and do something about it), Wanda's gone back to Sokovia - at least, what's left of it, and the rest are hanging around DC and New York, feeling sorry for themselves.

Sam has gone back to doing his PTSD meetings, which I should make a few agents go along to. It might be good for them. Sam's been a major help with Steve, constantly checking up on him and Natasha, making sure Rogers does not drive himself to death. Coulson would be so upset if he did, especially since he has not gotten his cards signed yet.

I went to the Avengers Tower last week to fetch some old folders. The Tower had an almost deathly silence around it. No one lives there anymore, except from Rogers who only goes back to bathe and eat. The staff are only needed once a week to do a quick clean, but I have a feeling Tony will make a robot to do all their jobs soon enough.

Even _if_ Natasha ever wakes up again, the Avengers will not be the same. They will never be the same. They may not separate for good, but they will not be the team they once were.

Fury says I am more negative than he is, but sometimes, I wonder if it's negativity or reality I'm living in.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading another chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Don't forget I upload every Thursday or Friday!**


	24. Cryofreeze?

**Hey! So first I would like to say a huge thanks to my Beta Reader FangirlWritesThings pleas go check out he stories. You can follow me on Tumblr at Moustachesayswhatever. I want to say I'm sorry for the two week wait but my depression got really bad and it took a lot of support to encourage me to write this chapter so thank you for your lovely reviews they are always really encouraging!**

 **A shout out to Katherine Marceline Queen who reviewed the last chapter!** **Also I would like to ask that if any of y** **ou have ideas that you would like to see happen in future chapters please let me know, I would really appreciate it!**

 **Don't forget** **I love to hear what you think about each chapter!**

 **Now on with the story...**

* * *

Steve sat there, anxiously awaiting what the doctor had to say about Natasha's condition. The door creaked open and the doctor stood in the doorway, but to Steve's surprise, it wasn't the usual doctor visiting.

"What a surprise," Steve spoke as he furrowed his brows. "I don't understand, though - why are you here, Dr. Cho?"

"Please, call me Helen. And I'm not here alone..." She moved out the doorway to show Betty Ross standing behind her.

"Ah, I see you have brought Miss Ross with you," Steve responded, then frowned, "but I have yet to understand why. Explain, perhaps?"

"Well, you see, Fury thought it was best we told each person individually and that it would be better coming from experts," Betty explained, fiddling with her fingers and trying to plaster on a nervous smile. Steve saw right through the facade and tilted his head, slight dread setting into his stomach as he heard those words.

"W-what are you talking about?" Steve inquired, glancing from one woman to another.

Dr. Cho responded cautiously, knowing that Captain America _could_ get fiery if he wanted to. "Mr. Rogers, when Natasha was shot, we took each bullet out and examined them all. So, you see, in the Red Room, Miss Romanoff was given a serum - which is similar to yours, but a weaker version. This is what we've been told, except we do not know the specifics of the serum, " Helen paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "She was shot enough that the average human would've died, but she survived... due to the serum, of course. But... one bullet contained poison..."

Steve's eyes widened a bit. No. No, no, no. There was still hope, right? Everything would be okay. If he could survive it and she has a serum akin to his, she'd survive, too... right? Voicing his thoughts, Steve stammered out with a slightly-weak voice,"B-but I'm able to fight poison... s-surely she's able to as well."

Betty frowned, shutting her eyes and daring to look into Steve's sky blue ones. She concluded Helen's and her report by saying, "Her serum is quite outstanding, indeed, and, from past experiences, has been able to fight poisons. Yet in this case, somehow, her body didn't kill the poison... Which partly explains why she is in a coma."

" _Partly_ explains?" Steve's breath hitched. All the bad thoughts, worst-case scenarios and the like, were running wild right now, each case worst than the last. Composing himself a bit, he began again, "Surely, you should understand the known poison and are able to find a cure..."

"We have been studying it, and found it is an unknown substance. Th-therefore it will take a while to find out the full extent of damage it has caused and how to cure it," Helen finished, anxious to leave the room as Steve's temper rose.

Steve saw red, blue and black all at the same time. It was anger, yet fading out to turn into sadness, then turning into burning desperation. _This can't be happening. This can't be real_. There _will_ be some way to save her. "We don't have the time for that!"

"We know," the both mumbled in unison, both women staring at the ground and trying to find words to console the Captain.

"There's nothing we can do. And the longer she is in the coma, the more the poison will spread and the worse her condition will get-"

"Steve!" Sam shouted as the door flung open and in ran Sam, Wanda and Maria. Their expression portrayed that they were well-aware of Natasha's current situation, based on the grim face Maria sported, the slight sadness in Wanda's eyes and the frown that seemed to be permanently etched into Sam's features.

"I see Betty and Helen have already told you three the news," Steve muttered, glassy eyes flitting to the three Avengers in the doorway. He couldn't feel anything for them, except for the painful scrape of someone yanking his heart out of his chest. It was borderline physically painful. _A world without Natasha isn't a world I want to live in_.

"Yeah," Sam sighed, then decided to try to cheer up his friend. Steve wasn't even smiling these days, it was like all traces of hope and justice had left the man. So Sam continued, comfort found in his voice, "You can't get worked up about it, man. W-we can't stop time or something. There's only so much power and magic in the world..."

"Can't stop time?" Steve mumbled under his breath. The gears turned in the blond's mind as he considered those exact words Sam had uttered. It was like everything in the room stopped moving as Steve suddenly realised that perhaps... there _could_ be one way to save his only love.

"Man, what did you say? ' _Speak up, sonny_ '," Sam joked a bit, confused at the sudden change of air in the room. As grim as it was, he swore he felt a flicker of... _something_ emanate from his friend. Steve looked up, glassy eyes and all, and almost found it in him to smile a bit at Sam.

"You're a _genius_ , Sam!" Steve praised. How did he not get that idea before? "We could cryofreeze her," Steve replied, with hope in his voice. Helen and Betty seemed to be considering it, and Wanda seemed to nod. Maria thought about perhaps telling Fury about this idea. After all, it was decent enough and gave them exactly what they needed to save Nat. _Time_.

However, the mild celebration ceased to exist when a single voice, filled with determination and anger, called from the doorway, "No way in _hell_."

And when everyone turned to the door, they were met with the livid expression donned by Clint Barton and Tony Stark.

* * *

In the meantime, Jack held Rachel's hand, whilst whispering words of endearment in hopes of encouraging her awakening.

"I love you Rachel," he whispered, his voice tense and edged with exhaustion. "P-please wake up, sweetie."

As always, nothing happened.

Suddenly, the line on the heart monitor stopped and all that could be heard in the room of hollow feelings was a loud beep and the scuffle of doctors rushing in. Jack's eyes brimmed with tears as he realised what this meant. One of the nurses that had been rushing into the room placed a hand on Jack's shoulder, helping him up.

"Please Jack," the nurse spoke softly, trying her best to console the old man. "You must leave the room for now. I promise we will do everything we can to save her." And with that, he was escorted outside before the nurse locked him out of the room.

Hands in his pocket as he blinked back unshed tears, Jack walked down the corridor and past Natasha's room, spotting Steve being given the news by the two women.

"I see you noticed being given the news," nurse Roberts spoke from behind him, causing Jack to turn around and face the female.

"Yeah," Jack sighed. He felt sorry for the man. A national treasure, yet the one he treasured was fading away from him.

"The poor lad," Roberts muttered, glancing to the doorway to Natasha's room. "All he ever did was for the good for his country, and this is the life he gets in return. One of misery and "

"The world is nasty place," Jack mused, crossing his arms. "People like him don't deserve to see that side of it."

The nurse nodded, then told Jack, "Rachel- she'll be alright."

"Yes, she will," Jack agreed, a fond smile, shining through the tears, growing on his face. "Because even if she dies, at least I know she'll be at peace with Anna and Mary in heaven."

"That's all you need to know, Jack," the kind woman smiled and walked off to finish her duties, leaving Jack to his own devices in the corridor, where he was mere meters away from an imminent blowup between heroes that were crumbling on the inside.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading another chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Don't forget I upload every Thursday or Friday!**


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